|Hibernating With The Beatles
Submarines under yellow duvets,
Summersets mix with marmalade spread
Midnight dives on yawning oceans
Lighting up late breakfast in bed.
Wholesomely cool October evenings,
Fixing holes in dying fires,
Rainclouds sweep the far horizon
Water skimming motor tyres.
Gentle sleet falls soft on windows,
LPs stacked up by the bed
While she said 'I know what it's like to be,
From October through till February's dead.
Slice and serve a savoy truffle,
As diamond sky spins winter's sleep,
Kiss your eyes with golden slumbers
Till good day sunshine's within reach.
17 Sep 03
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Wow, I remembered all the lines and I wasn't a big Beatles fan. This has good imagery. I like line 4 - made me laugh. (You'll get the muchies later!)
Made me think of Plastoscene People eating Marshmellow Pies...
Made me think of plasticine pies eating marshmellow people.
are you a blue meanie?
why can't you just let it be?
I really like this...
this poem must have taken so long to write, coming up with all of the beatles references; piecing them together to create this excellent poem.......
[p.s. love the BEATLES!!!!!!]
Thank you for your kind words they are much appreciated. Its not hard to write about the Beatles when you are nuts about them and love every little thing......ooops i did it again,. they did.I symbolically wanna hold your hand across the water.
From my tent outside the Cavern
mmmm, the beatles.
i love how it's got all these references, but is still poetic and original, and could hold it's own, i think, even if someone didn't recognize the references.
But i am those references ,i live them everyday.And i still go-o-o-o-oh .Fixing a hole where the rain gets in.My nickname is the Egg Man cus i have one for breakfast every day, covered in strawberry jam of courseDo you know that what you eat you are ,its amazing.Long live the Rolling Stones and Captain Beefheart cus they were pretty brilliant to.
sometimes I live inside of a
do not rescue me
this tickled my fancy. and the comment about the marshmellow people. <3 ~10
This is the same idea as the neil young one i did that everyone trashed....
but the beatles are so much cooler than neil young. i like them both, but the beatles are cooler. WAY cooler. :)
it's one way to rip it.
no way! neil young is a legend! The beatles are a supremely overhyped Nsync
Hey what the hell is up with you guys, sounds to me like you'd cause an arguament in an empty house .Get your heads out from your backsides and take your petty squabbles elsewhere . This is a true epic poem and the guy who wrote it don't deserve all this bickering on his page.Neil as we all know was thrown out of the Beatles before he'd even joined and George didn't even get an audition for Crazy Horse.
the beatles are NOT an nsync. wow. that's one of the most ignorant things i've ever heard anyone say. I love neil young. But he doesn't stand up to the musical gods that are the beatles.
I love john and paul and george and ringo.
Do you want to join my all inclusive Neilbeatleyoung club .Neilbeatleyoung were formed in LA in 83 to counter the rumour that one was better than the other
Thats what i like, a quick hello goodbye with no strings attached
Dear Dr Dong
Thank you for your exaustive list of Beatle titles
Larry yea yea yea yeaaa Lark
I totally LOVE this. You stole my trip.
Thanks for your kind comment. Do i love the Beatles. I probably need therapy for it
Larry Savoy Truffle Lark
heppa heppa larry lark is hot this week like a firecracker
noodle chartwatcher man
I love this poem above any other i have ever written, "All Those Years Ago."
Larry No reply Lark
I like this although I got a little lost at times...but did make me hungry thou~~
So I guess I got the spark now!!
long may your spark sparkle or whatever else you want it to do.
Larry let it be Lark
This is a really good effort and find a good metaphor for the negativity that can trap lives. You need to tighten up your structure,may be toss in a few poetic devices-internal rhyming ,alliteration etc,it did have a bit of a tendency to lapse into prose
Larrylark, this poem has such unique references. I love the rhythm and style of this rhyming poem! It is colorful and truely captures a season of slumber . The more abstract impressions are well grounded with the bit of narrative. It's on my list of favorites!
Dear |Riverwriter 2
I, of course agree with your perceptive comments
Larry help Lark
the beatles, once stoned,
were stoned out of their mind
from project ot project.
and why not
and why not.
but the whole time,
it seems to me,
they kept trying hard.
they saw where they were
and kept trying to go
and man they got far!
This is lovely :D
Very nice. A splendid time is guaranteed for all!
I think a disciplined grounding came into it somewhere .
Larry Hamburger Lark
i adore the last stanza. great jorb. i love it. i love it. i love it.
Dera Duck tape
As the Beatles said-"Love love love"I do believe it makes the world go round.
Larry Things we said today Lark
Great poem LarryLark.
the beatles are my favorite, so i was partial to this right from the title. this is jam packed with fantastic imagery and the bits of songs were definitely a nice touch. each song played in my head while i read it!
I love this poem.
the flow is perfect.. all the words work together systematically.
Although, i must admit the beatles were before my time, i still do see and understand a lot of the imagery and references that are used.
I have to admit
not only is this gorgeous
but it turns me on
i am sliding off my chair.
When you hit the floor i hope you have a soft landing
...i had a delicious marmalade sandwich this morning. don't break your teeth on the diamond in that truffle.
If i had a diamond in my truffle the last thing i would do is break my teeth on it.
Thanks for reading
i didnt really feel awhole lot here until the last stanza, which is very catchy...i get, but it just doesnt seem to make any sense...it just seems a little generic to me.
and i am a big beatles fan...
My Gosh Larrylark - line 6 - my favorite line
The whole poem brought back memories of one wonderful season
in 1968 when I was 15 and the Beatles and He were all mine.
I can't sit in front of a fire now without thinking of that time.
and that one line brought it all back.
you can't win em all why don't you try my other one-"Growing Wrinkly With The Rolling Stones"
Larry old rocky headed bastard Lark
Your reply also triggered if further memories of the Fab Four.I saw them live in November 1964 at Preston Public Hall and couldn't hear a word of any song for girls,and boys screaming.
The first two LP's i bought were Please Please Me and Times They Are A Changing by Dylan and i literally wore them out.I had the Beatle hair cut,but it wouldn't lie flat as my hair was curly.I remember the day Sargeant Peppers came out and Brian Auger And The Trinity were playing at my college and i was chatting to him and he also had bought and listened to a first day copy and i remember him saying that they might as well pack it in as no one could compete with that fantastic LP as they were called in those days.I think they were one of the life sustaining forces during my teenage years and my 20's and i am gratified that my children all love the Beatles to this very day.
Thanks for responding
Larry there are places i remember Lark
lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I loved them all
what a wonderful song you've stuck in my head, Larry fab forever Lark
i have their sgt pepper cd! actually my dad. not a big fan though. but gd poetry! funnaye at some parts:)
I have a fab four day once every 6 months where i dress up like a Beatle play their music all day,get pissed and stoned ,eat jelly babies ,throw up,go down to the pub,get arrested because i hit a man who said i was wearing a wig.
Larry under the rug Lark
Dear miss minx
If you look carefully at the array of stars adorning the cover of Sargeant Peppers,
in the herbaceous border bt the side of Ringo's feet, next to a musical horn there is a strange crouching little figure with white hair.That person is myself who having tunnelled out of home one night in desperate search of loose woman after being grounded by my father for smoking all his Capstan Full Strength,accidentally popped up like an off course mole..I looked so cute they kept me in the shoot and afterwards i went 5 rounds with Sony Liston(extreme left) KO ing him with a vicious blow to the temple.
Larry secret heavywieght champion of the world Lark
damn. you're wild.
beautiful, but then you had the best to be inspired by!
Dear Miss Minx
I'm so wild they call me the wildest wild thing of them all.
Larry squeak squeak Lark
The imagery here is very nice. the perfect mix between surreal sweetness and everyday marvels (LPs stacked up by the bed). I love that, it's a real work of art.
The rhythm gets a bit bumpy towards the end (lines 11-12 e.g.) they fit well with eachother but, in my opinion, not ideally with the rest of the poem.
that's just a small remark though, i think this is really nice work.
One of the best times of my life was discovering the Beatles in 62. Thanks for your crit and i agree with you about those lines but i havn't the heart to change them if you see what i mean
Larry In My Life Lark
good. nice, really.
i love you. i love the beatles. A+ imagery. only thing missing is a second punctuation lines 11-12 'I know what it's like to be,/From October through till February's dead.' awesome poem!
If i have a fav or a fab among my mediocre output I guess this one would be toppermost of the poppermost.
Larry things we said today Lark
"Ja Guru Deva"
Yea yea yea and you know you should be glad
Cool poem. Reminds me of when I first fell in love with the Beatles back in high school, eighteen years after they split up. If I read this too many times, though, I'll be up all night. I hope coming down isn't too hard.
It is hard and will ever be so for life is hard and we all need something to take it away for a while
Larry with a little help from my friends Lark
and I am
Larry glad all over lark
funny i've just played day tripper
and imagine with a lil help from
my friends a while ago.
Not much to crit for me here.
The title is inviting and the poem
doesn't let it down.
I love a poem that doesn't
come across trying to be more
than what was intended.
It reads well and delivers.
Your use of lyrics is clever
and their placement very
Funny, I read another one of your
poems yesterday that just fell
dead on the screen for me.
I'm glad I found this one.
It reminds me how one can
pick up a book of poetry by
one author and find poems
within it that he/she loves
and others that they simply
cannot finish reading.
I don't know if you meant for the poem
to sing but, it did for me throughout.
It's that silent voice inside of us that
loves a poem that comes to life.
LarryLark, this is very nicely done. I don't know that it absolutely works on its own (without knowing the songs), but it's damned close. And since you've tipped your hand with the title, I think it's fair to assume that the reader can "get" where this piece leads.
This reminds me of a song by a band called Barclay James Harvest, who did a song called "Titles" back in 1977 or so. I've put the words here just for interest's sake. Frankly, I think yours ties things up better, but the song is a nice loving tribute as well.
By the way, I don't know if the Fab Four are the most influential artists of the 20th century (Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, Elvis, the Gershwins, et al could all likely win the prize), but I think it's pretty hard NOT to underestimate their influence. A "boy band" they're not, and I'm not their biggest fan. "Yesterday" has been recorded something like 800 times by different artists ... who's done a cover of ... of ... of .... you know, that nsync song, you know the one.
The long and winding road that leads to your door
Here comes the sun it's alright people shout for more
But were you trying to deceive telling me
All you need is love to succeed
Across the universe one after nine 'o' nine
I got a feeling for you blue and I feel fine
I tried so hard to make believe that I'd see
All you need is love to succeed
Lady Madonna let it be
Something in the way you moved me yesterday
All you need is love so they say
Larry Revolution No. 9 Lark
LarkMaster, I've got a similar piece about the boys from Athens -- if you don't know who that is, then you likely won't enjoy it ... but I'll share it soon.
This is a great homage. 9. Fun, kinda sexy, and "within reach." Nice.
I look forward to it. I unreservedly love The Beatles and some of my best memories are related to the music they made.
Larry There's a place lark
I really like the meter, but I feel like it skips steps. Lacks some words in between. Not sure obviously, but I dunno, it was tasty.
Cool! check out A Be At Les Letter
they are al lgoing mad on the Beatles here once more with the imminant arrival of the digital boxed set with extras retailing at an incredible 199.99 quid and .......get this..... the Beatle computer game. Whanna sing along with the boys in the Cavern well you can for another £39.99
Larry give me money thats what i want Lark
Same here there's a computer simulation called Air Guitar where you can be one of the Fab Four
shit and shit
do you want me to send you a few more words so you can expand your vocabulary?
Larry tit wanker shirt face bollock brained Lark
Wow. This is one of your earliest poems.
I truly think it's spectacular. Each line, an image,
impressionistic, and nothing to crit, but only, admire.
Perhaps remove the end-line comma from L6?
But, wait, you have commas here and no commas there...
so that is intentional, for your "wants" for the item.
Am unsettled at the moment, Larry. You know, I owe your works
about a hundred hours of reading and studies, and good, full crits.
I hope to do that soon, safely "repaired" in another land, and be back home
again "ASAP" as we yanks say. I give this a tin of a ten, because I love you and Opal and the poem is so very beautiful, it really is. Much delicacy in your thoughts, always, wished from your old pal,
what's it for?
I appreciate your sentiments very much and they will send me into this spring morning with a jaunty step. Hope all stays well with you
Hm... some lovely imagery, and the references were a lot of fun... but perhaps draw it out a little longer? It sort of felt an allusion overload- like they were crammed too close together.
You bring light to a dark world
It has a good sense of swing in it, oh how i love your way with words, this one will be one of my favorite poems, thanks.Hulda
Sorry, forgot the rate
A Day in the Life.
The Things you Said Today.
I got round to your comment reid and really appreciate it
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Lucy in the sky would a prove! So would the eggman! Just out of curousity can i ask what you meant in your last review of my poem? About lunatics running the asylum? I cant tell if that was a positive or negative review.
Larry All You Need is Love Lark
Hi number 9 number 9 number 9 number 9
thanks for dragging up this oldie on Parlaphone and always remember..there's nothing you can do that can't be done, so eat jam wrapped in jelly its such fun, wear your Y fronts on your head in the middayb sun, its easy peasy cus all you need is luv
Larry lemon Lark
"Some other guy" Lark is more than a poet he is the Cavern.
My mind is a cavern ...a tresure trove of half baked beans and made up memories of long long ago
Larry far far away Lark