|Mad Man's Garden
"Why is your topiary shaped like a bowler hat?"
"So my tortoise cat can shelter, and its fur will never matte."
"Why does a Bengal tiger sprawl across your lawn?"
"He was given by my Uncle on the day that i was born."
"Why is your ornate gate post clothed in gold and pearls?"
"So there I'll stand and kiss the hand of every passing girl."
"Why is your crazy paving made of polished glass?"
"So i can see the earth beneath with which the worms are clad."
"Why does your heap of compost reach up to the sky?
"So I can climb a mountain to watch the world go by."
"Why do you place your sundial deep within the shade?"
"So time here never passes through sunshine's rise or fade ."
30 Jun 06
Rated 9 (8.2) by 6 users.
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and why do you stack your commas like dinner plates?
Because I am Larry Lunar Lark
wait a sec, mate, for the mark! The Mark!
I like the last two lines, not too involved with the others. Sounds like a children's picture book.
L6 doesn't have an open quotation.
L9 doesn't need the comma after compost.
L12 doesn't need a comma after passes.
I enjoyed this a lot, though I'm not sure why...
Yeah. Last two lines are awesome.
in which the worms are clad <- I don't like that part. It seems odd.
through which the earthworms pass? You could change the first earth to dirt or ground or world.
I like it, though, whimsical and swirly, even if it is straight (:
wow, nice poem.
Last two lines - genius. Loved it. Very creative.
Reminds me of a series of Surrealist paintings hanging next to each other in a gallery. Love it.
because they won't fit on saucers?
Larry lunatic Lark
The way you just come out and say things is....wel...like the way you come out and say things.
Larrt says things Lark
Thanks for the spots
I think it's okay to ask why.
Thanks for the comment. Yes i always ask questions ,only trouble is i can't seem to find any answers and the hole of uncertainty seems to grow larger the older one becomes.
Larry round and round Lark
That's not what my Prime Minister says. I like your poem.
The last lines (11,12) are interesting.
Never believe anything your Prime Minister tells you for after all he got to the position he occupies by agreeing to disemble distort ,con and smooth talk with honeyed words while his Chancellor increases the price of a massage and hand relief by 3.49p per hour unless of course you want special treatment with the old rubber truncheon and Brillo pad.
Larry sandpaper skin Lark
i like poetry, i like gardens and i like madness, so i quite enjoyed your poem.
but i didn't like the lack of consistance with the rhyme in lines 7 and 8. i was going to make a suggestion for it, but povertea's is just fine and dandy.
Thanks for the ctit.I am considering the lines you mentioned.
Larry imperfect Lark
Why does matt have two ts.
My only question for an otherwise delightful poem.
I was trying to get a double meaning -Matte finish ,flat and dull and matted hair .I am assured by Opal that the spelling is matte so i have changed it to that.Thanks for bringing it to my attentionn
I love it, especially the last 2 lines... magical!
since i wrote this poen i have been very busy in my garden and have made many improvements.
Larry towards perfection lark
Love it. You prove to completely understand the point of view of your subject, and it comes across very well.
And what I get out of it, personally, is that a Mad Man is mad because he can't face obstacles, so he compensates by decorating the obstacles so that he is comfortable living with their existance.
Now, you may think I'm reading in to it too much, or maybe not enough, or maybe I missed the mark completely, and you just find me to be as mad as your man...but I think that sparking thought in someone through your art, no matter what the intention of the art, is a good thing...maybe an almost latteral(sp?) good thing, but a good thing all the same.
Sometimes I'm not sure that I make any sense.
By the way, L7-8 are my favorite.
You make perfect sense to me and thanks for your well informed and spot on comments.I wish i could stay and chat but my garden gnomes are calling from under the topiary and i must get them some breakfast. Now where did i put those magic mishrooms?
Larry top of the morning Lark
cute!! fun!! i like.
Hi Money Penny
You won't find a cuter poem this side of the Isle of Man, but that side? Who knows. Thanks for the comment
Larry shovel and spade Lark
very nice very nice.
dear larry fifteeneyes lark, your poem is beautiful and i would not change a thing
this reminds me very much of a poet that was in a class i took in college. i've never been that much a fan of rhyming, but he did it well and also in lighthearted, fantastical poetry. to this, i say "Iiiiiii like it!" :)
Love the poem! Hate that I have 2 use my phone 2 read and comment lol. Just lost a rather thoughtful and insightful comment and lost it adding this poem 2 my fav list. DOH!! Oh well, I'm sure I'll be back for the smiles. Wade
Man, I want a garden like this.
I like the content, but it seems to like purpose/meaning untill the last line.
last two lines are great. Why don't you start there or end there but redo the rest?
to finish my comment, the other couplets are just too easy.
Err... rhymes feel a bit forced.
fantastic stuff mr. lark
i'm enjoying the process of discovering your work.
very much enjoyed the interplay of the two voices here
it too speaks of the inner freedom we seek
You sound shakily nice
Larry lover of the world Lark
lines 11-12 i really dig it!!!!
I am watching you from the shade
Larry dialing up the sun Lark
Very nice and reminds me of a guy i know.
This is a very fine poem.
I have two tortoises.
very nice garden
maybe i'm looking too deep, but it occurred to me that
maybe there is some spiritual significance here? allow me to demon(hehe)strate
12 lines total
line 4 (1/3 of 12) breaks from why/so formula using instead "He"
line 8 (2/3 of 12) breaks from uppercase I found in 10 and 6, using "humble" i, also found in line 4
line 12 time here never passes -- a nod to the immortal soul?
holy trinity, 12 disciples
your poem is probably just a simple flight of fancy, but it's cool to dig
when in the garden
dear mr. larko,
I do love your garden poems.
as with the others,
I can only hope
the slugs are out of season.
i enjoyed this, very much.
I can remember a time when people wrote stuff like this, -it was called poetry; nice to see it's still around.
fantastic - but consider taking the punctuation marks off each question.
I used the punctuation to emphasise the closed and delightfully deranged world this person lives in but i also think they take something away from the appearance of the poem
Larry mad patio Lark
In a way, the last two lines are the best, but that's because the preceding lines build up to them. The first five couplets are very visual and fairytale-ish and yes, the answers given by the mad man are mad. But then in the last couplet he makes perfect sense - his desire to hold time at bay is one we can all relate to. Is he mad then? Aha - here in lies the conundrum and deeper fascination of this poem. Magical.
Thanks for understanding smugzy
Larry wandering through the modern dark ages lark
I, too, love the final couplet!
and the idea of a glass sidewalk.
i'm fond of all lines.
Caught awkwardly between children's literature and rambling nonsensical adult poetry. It brought me nothing.
Dear OK Computer
May I offer you 3 pounds of turnips from his allotment round the back of Tripe factory which he plucked from his trees yesterday by way of compensation?
Larry keeping the punters happy Lark
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Can poetry either be this good. I love the riddles.
My comment was really tight-assed, sorry! Increased my appreciation to an 8, mellowed by time and distance.
Larry one of my poetry idols. So bespoke you deserve adulation.
couple of thoughts on line 12.
is 'through' meant to be 'though' ?
if it is 'though' then change the 'or' between rise and fade to 'and' .. it scans better with 'sunshine's'. :)
love the rest of the poem. lovely Lewis Carroll feel to it .. when is a writing desk like a raven?!