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British Rail (Lost Property)
larrylark

Large jar of bull sperm, bag of dead worms,
 1
a stuffed puffer fish thats distinctly on the turn.
 2
 
 
Bishops hat and robe, hanging from his crook,
 3
pate foi gras left by celebrity cook.
 4
 
 
Three false eyeballs in a jar of pickled eggs,
 5
gas mask stuffed inside a hairy false leg.
 6
 
 
Two Tibetan bells, tinned erectile gel,
 7
pair of Turkish trousers with an Oriental smell.
 8
 
 
One stolen painting by a guy called Picasso,
 9
case stuffed with suppositorys to stick up your arsehole.
 10
 
 
Monkey wrench, park bench, old tramps fedora,
 11
thirty five bottles of Skin 'Eads hair restorer.
 12
 
 
A bangle, a tangle, handle off a Jag,
 13
letter of subscription to a pornographic mag.
 14
 
 
Four illegal immigrants, parrot on a perch,
 15
a blousy old tart whose been left in the lurch.
 16
 
 
Come down the station any time you wish,
 17
but please hurry up, whoever  owns  the fish.
 18
 
 
(The 2.32 for Eidelstrop leaves five minutes ago)
 19

8 Jul 06

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Comments:

delightfully funny.  pip pip cherio!
 — unknown

Yay!! Love it, very funny and cleverly done.
 — dele

Like the sentement, but is a too listy for me. It woud work if each item possed a known story or something of more independent comedic value, as it is it's really just a  rhmyed list.

Anyhoo, that being said a few tweaks:

L3 no e on Bishop
L7 capital on Tibetan
L8 capital on Turkish
L11 comma after wrench
L11 no need for capitals on skin & 'eads (could be argued either way though)
L13 comma on the comma
 — unknown

Dear Unknown Pip if it be you or not

If this is delightfully funny then i sleep easy in my bed tonight

Max sleepwalker Shallow
 — larrylark

love ya larry
 — unknown

check your extra of in line 18.
 — unknown

Love ya to man.In fact i luv ya all even mor than i luv life itself

Larry whole world in his hands Lark
 — larrylark

dear Unknown

thanks for the spot

Larrt dotty Lark
 — larrylark

reminds me of tom waits
 — SolCarloman

Hi solCarloman

Is that the same Tom who was forever waiting outside the lost luggage dept. while they checked to see if his stash had arrived?

Larry Tom who? Lark
 — larrylark

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