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sittin all skinny in a vulkswagon (ode to Christ)
OKcomputer

Good Friends,
 1
they are
 2
hungry.
 3
they are
 4
 
 
breaking bones.
 5
they are
 6
 
 
beginning to
 7
slam! into one another
 8
        with  
 9
breath taking force !!
 10
 
 
eoop, (there's the horn, by golly,
 11
our limbs portruding north and south and all the rest. wait, just move this way. just your knee.
 12
just an inch.
 13
shift,
 14
        stuff
 15
this little bit of bulge
 16
over mine.
 17
you must.
 18
 
 
waitwait,
 19
you have entirely
 20
 
 
too
 21
many
 22
bones.
 23
are sharply molded
 24
to jab my own.
 25
 
 
 
 
 
 
a loud and booming Hey hey hey withya
 26
motherfucker,
 27
even when i   leap
 28
frightfully   from the world into you.
 29
 
 
introduction:
 30
HERE IS MY LOVE LIFE: hump hump hump.
 31

4 Aug 06


(define the words in this poem)
(88 more poems by this author)



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this is crap remove it please
 — unknown

     This is wonderfully morbid & frightening, a Brother's Grimm on 23rd Street.  I especially love "limbs portruding north and south and all the rest."  Having seen a number of your poems before, I'm still in awe of how fertile your imagination is.
    For this poem, I'd only suggest two things: first, "sweat glands screaming" doesn't do it for me.  It really stands out, and seems to only marginally fit with the "four-wheeled bag of bones" feel of the rest.  Last, "anorexic" in the title seems a bit cute for me.  Do reconsider.
    Good fun, thanks,
 — mikkirat

Yes Mikki, I did what you said, because you were right! :-D Thanksthanks.
 — OKcomputer

    You're welcome, OKcomputer.  I love the twisted worlds you create, "Carlos" and "Pews" are just amazing.  I look forward to your next.
 — mikkirat

Ode to Christ reminded me of Ode to Joy, so as I reas this I had that melody in my head. The words to a certain point almost went along with it. Hmm. But anyway:


This was pretty enjoyable. Gritty. Bloody. But not so in an obviously grotesque way. This almost comes across as comical (satirical, maybe?). Eh, anyway, I like it.

The last two lines do, however, intrigue/confuse me. I wonder what they mean individually as well as to the body of the poem.
 — Rixes

"you have entirely too many bones," that's great. Love the general tone of the poem.
 — jcameron

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