poetry critical

online poetry workshop



poets out for critical walks
netskyIam

we, the poets--all of us,
 1
our genders notwithstanding,
 2
wear our paper dresses and
 3
 
 
hope it does not rain.
 4

27 Aug 06

Rated 10 (8) by 1 users.
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Comments:

cute metaphor.
 — chloee

I'm pleasantly surprised by this poem.  I would recommend changing the title-- sounds like a journal entry.  Maybe expand this poem into a longer one-- or just expand the images of the rain.  Basically, there is more here to work with, but you've struck a nice balance without forcing us to be deep or "poetical."
 — eleanor

Hi chloee and thanks for your compliment.  
Hi eleanor!  Yes, you are right.  The title throws it way off balance.  Too long.
But should I really make it longer?  At this early time (it's fresh) I can't yet see how, or why.  Let's make a new title to replace

"poets out for crit wish for sunny weather"
I'll chop it in half for now.

Thanks again, very much!
reid
 — netskyIam

we, the poets--all of us,  
our genders notwithstanding,  
wear out our paper dresses,
standing naked in the rain      
 — unknown

lovely, although maybe "piss down on us" would be more suitable than 'rain'?
 — anony

We, the critics
go out in the rain,
our genders notwithstanding,
wearing paper dresses.
 — unknown

nice poem reid. very precise.

varun
 — unknown

I actually thought this was funny...lol nice metaphor indeed
 — unknown

we, the readers--all of us,
our poetry notwithstanding,
wear out our umbrellas and

hope for rain
 — oracle

ps i liked this :)
 — oracle

wonderful!
 — ilikeblue

just lovely . . . thank you, you just made my night.  ;-)

~redsky
 — unknown

what a nice and needed reinforcement of a flagging-netsky.
redsky, good one, we both live in Miami.  And by chance
we have nearly identical screen names.   Let's talk by phone
some time or meet for lunch in the Grove, perhaps. I'm harmless
ness, personified.  thanks.   Reid.
 — netskyIam

it must be good to generalize poetically.
 — unknown

Lovely stuff :)
 — unknown

lol awesome-- however I'm standing near the fire with my paper dress -- sparks are flying -- I'm still here so near the flame of poetry
 — AlchemiA

Some of us wear paper dresses only when it rains.  
 — Isabelle5

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