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Love and Death
larrylark

Arch of your back gathers constellations,
 1
that shine entangled, dreaming in your hair.
 2
Arms that stretch beyond the cosmos,
 3
seek out truth in black hole's lair.
 4
 
 
Spin me airless round your sublime face,
 5
lay me in the vacuum of an endless room.
 6
Where seconds widen to enclose our years,
 7
lips will collide above our lovers’ tomb.
 8
 
 
Stars, flowers, exchanged as you command,
 9
we glide through eyes of fleeting storms.
 10
Threads of glistening rain lost to clouds,
 11
a galaxy provides both wing and shroud.
 12

7 Sep 06

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Comments:

How beautiful. It made me want to cry.
 — unknown

i love the imagery in this :)

l10 is there a problem of plurals? or something? or just me - eye/storms?
 — oracle

nice poem larry. incredible.

varun
 — unknown

Dear Unknown

If you e-mail me your order to

Larry Larrikin Enterprises
Shady Leaf Lane
Round the back of The Old Chestnut Tree.

I will send you a pack of unique non disposable reusable super strength tissues. Thanks for the comment

Regards

Larry barmy lark
 — larrylark

Dear Unknown

Thanks for the encouraging reply and the spot. As you can see i stand corrected.

Larry
 — larrylark

Dear Verun

I'll take nicely incredible.

Larry mind blown Lark
 — larrylark

i'd rather prefer 'around' in line 5 though... or 'round ?


varun
 — unknown

also, with all other tangibles being connected with intangibles specifically, would you consider saying 'your endless room' instead?
it would also kind of spread her out like an ocean in which you can sink... no?

varun.
 — unknown

Dear Verun

I'll have a  think about line 5

Larry
 — larrylark

Dear Verun

my reasoning behind the phrase an airless room was to create the impersonal feel  of a back drop against which people collide as they fall under each others spell. To me it seems that love is the one great comfort of humans as they briefly stride the stage of life and then are gone . The universe seems a lawless intanigible place of unimaginable vastness which echoes in many ways the beauty and vast emotion that comes with personal and intense love for another person. I don't know whether this makes sense, but thanks for the time and trouble you have taken with this poem.

Larry.
 — larrylark

sorted that out then...
thanks for coming back on that.

what about 'round'?!?!?

still being dog.

vArun.
 — unknown

Dear Varun

I don't think around works as well both from the perspective of flow and meaning."Around" is too much of a mouthful after "airless" and implies around and around like a merry go round or something that inevitably comes to pass in a regular way. "Round" in the cOntext of the stanza has a more cosmic, open feel.


Fond regards

Larry
 — larrylark

well received. thanks for taking the time larry.

v
 — unknown

but also, vaccum, endless... both are, well, almost eternal, as concepts... so the endlessness is defeated in 'round' as a shape. they are inhibited.

lines 5-6 are open, free, eternal.
lines 7-8 are more closed, with closure, with 'enclosure of years' and 'lovers' tomb'....
 — varun

only observations... :)
 — varun

also, 'above' in line 8 is a variation in rhythm... line's 4 and 12 don't have the same.
you could do away with 'where' in the preceding line i think... maybe replace it with 'as'... or close line 6 with a ';'... ?
 — varun

Dear Verun

At some point eternity turns and races back to face itself through a huge elliptical arc- as envisaged by Einstein.

Larry through th elooking glass Lark
 — larrylark

seems we are 'krsna', the both of us.

have a good one.
 — unknown

Dear Unknown


Being a dull north of England clod could you please enlighten me as to the meaning of "krsna".

Larry thesaurus Lark
 — larrylark

krsna, often spelled krishna, is the god of love in indian myth.
apparently, he thought of everything so well and enough in advance that he could never lose an argument or discussion...
where in the north are you?

v
 — unknown

Dear Verun

Of course, now i see it. I live in the brand new city of Preston, famous for its inertia, right wing inclinations and home to the finest right winger of them all, Sir Tom Finney.

Larry dribbler Lark
 — larrylark

noble
 — unknown

constellations are kinda cliche...but other than that
 — psychofemale

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