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Abandoned Ship
larrylark

Fired through spangled waves
 1
steeply angled mountains climb  away.
 2
among echoes of rifles’ ricochet
 3
 
 
Saturnine melancholy
 4
sits grave in centre of scree,
 5
bubbling waters drape moss
 6
in jewelled glowing greens.
 7
 
 
Bound tight to a fissured edge,
 8
flesh clings to cormorant’s spread claw,
 9
wedged tight, skull marked for erosion.
 10
 
 
Sea spray softly descends
 11
diffused  through freshly stirring wind,
 12
while our ship leans, then mends its course.
 13
 
 
Steering into the dark heart of the ocean,
 14
insistent marching feet can be heard,
 15
drumming decks of motionless boats.
 16
 
 
We are consumed among the elements,
 17
demented curses never reach our ears,
 18
as weathered hands slip down frozen rigging
 19

15 Sep 06

Rated 9 (9.5) by 1 users.
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Inactive (3): 9, 9, 10, 10

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Comments:

people need to comment on this!

this is so complicated i find myself stumbling through it, it is so compact, difficult to wade through but don't make it more simple! i do like poetry that is simple and can be partly understood on the first line, and where they might go more for shape (not poems that literally represent something though) but it also adore the complicated.
 — listen

Dear Listen

When i can prize my hands off this frozen rigging that my poetry teacher at The Tendril And Gossomer School Of Poetry For Method Writers made me grab hold of i will reply to your very kind comment.

Larry burning boats Lark
 — larrylark

A fine description of a ghostly landscape with the sea stretching into the unknown
 — fashionfad

Dearfashionfad

This poem has been reworked so many times that the barnacles have dropped off the bottom of the boat.

Larry sailor Lark
 — larrylark

a beautifully written piece, wonderful descriptions, the 2nd stanza is amazing. The most rewarding poems are the ones that you feel the need to pick apart and mull over the complexity of its lines. A million thanks for giving me the opportunity to that!  ;-)
 — redsky

This is argggh! A cool bit of writin' ya got here, mate!
 — NeighborDi

Dear Redsky

I'm pleased you saw so much here.Its a poem I've been battling with for years and when they have gone that long they usually end up in the bin, But this one....mmmmm

Larry swirl of words lark
 — larrylark

Dear NeighborDi

Thanks for the comment. I'll carry on eating cucumber.

Larry ice cube veins Lark
 — larrylark

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