The dumbest thing I ever did for love?
I gave a baby panda
a fade haircut without fee.
What a waste of my affection.
The panda cuddled up instead
with that puke beautician
from the shop across the street.
I wish now I'd burned its roots
with 40 vol. peroxide. But
by then it was too late for that.
So I burned the punk's place down
while they meshed in fur massage.
Lesson learned the hardest way:
never pander to a panda.
It will rip your heartstrings out
and scratchmark the headboard.
One less panda, one less pawn.
What's the difference, and who cares?
Evidently, my scissors do, and deeply.