|Spirit Of The Dead.
You'd think after that send off,
carried out to the letter,
he would have thought better of it
and stayed under, the sod.
It's all became clear as water beneath a leaf,
the hacksaw and drill,
oxygen mask, bit between the teeth,
a hammer to tilt at the lid.
He has the nerve to sit there
after years of abstaining,
lips clasped round a cheroot,
coffee and a fruit liqueur
with two cute blondes,
one on each decomposing arm.
19 Oct 03
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Inactive (2): 8, 8, 8, 10
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what's the reason for the dumb blonde cliche, eh??
I've no idea, he's married to one - a blonde I mean - not a dumb one.
When will you reveal yourself as less than a cliche?
I do like it. The ending make me laugh. :)
ughhh this is creepy, and poetry wise creepy is good because, that means i can feel this. overall its quite funny *chuckles*. nice JOB!
You need to fix the spacing around the comma in line 4.
And maybe drop the full stop in the title?
drop it where?
Drop it off at the bus stop.
Bring a handkercheif, you will need it.
Saying goodbye is always so sad, don't you agree?
very nice. ending. such a snappy bit that really closes the poem.
I like it :]
Did you hate him that much, you can really express your feelings, i like it.Hulda
He isn't "fixing" the comma on line 4, because it shows two different meanings - #1. "Under the sod" and #2. "He... the sod". It works, but I think even if the comma were spaced normally it would still carry that dual-meaning.
Sorry for the overt speculation about the poet's intentions. I tend to do it a lot.