poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Beatles Concert (1963)
larrylark

“What a waste!”
 1
“Weren’t they great?”
 2
“Should have dug out grannies ear plugs
 3
for all the good; for all I heard.”
 4
 
 
Fascinated by my school pals,
 5
shaking heads,
 6
shoulders bobbing
 7
in unison, even then
 8
obeyed unspoken rules.
 9
 
 
This was not the grey world
 10
of the fifties,
 11
though we remained grey,
 12
momentarily behaving
 13
like butterflies breaking
 14
from a cocoon, to which my friends
 15
would soon return to live out the rest
 16
of their lives; and I?  
 17
 
 
When Paul shouted at me, “Can you hear?”
 18
I nodded from the balcony, blushing at the lie,
 19
while remaining a fan all the days of my life.
 20
Marching my newly found multi colored
 21
mind set all the way through the 60’s
 22
and then beyond.
 23

23 Oct 06

Rated 10 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 7, 7, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(799 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Nice. L 18 - 22 well writen and vivid.
 — unknown

Yes, it is vivid and I like that. It tells the story well, also, which is the most important part. "shaking heads off spinal stems in unison" is an odd line to me and it seems to interrupt the diction of the poem, however, as I was thinking about it, it can kind of relate to the mind expansion your speaker mentions towards the end of the poem. All in all I think you did nice work on this one, cool cool.
 — Notecompsure

Why does grannie wear earplugs? Normally grannies have problems hearing and need ear trumpets or hearing aids. Totally unrealistic. 1/10
 — Henry

Good observation Henry. But, then again, this is poetry ...
 — JustineCH

not a good observation. not all old people even use hearing aids. not only that, but grandmother/ grandfather is a title, not an age. It is stupidity to assume a grandparent is above a certain age and health stage in their own life. in fact, what makes the poem realistic is that the speaker is a teenager in the 50's, like the thousands of kids that fell in love with the Bealte's in that era. That would mean, as an average human, which this poem leads us to believe, the grandparent would be somewhere around 55 - 65 years old. Perfectly reasonable age to not like loud music and wear ear plugs to deafen that music.

That aside, also going with the previous comment by JustineCH, it is poetry, and the idea of the ear plugs is almost more a symbol then it's literal meaning. I'm beginning to wonder about you Henry . . . first my poems, then this one . . . it seems like you need to focus outside of yourself and your own experiences a bit more.
 — Notecompsure

Dear Henry

If you'd have been living in my grannies street in the 50's and 60's you would inderstand why granny wore ear plugs. Opposite was a huge factory belching noise and in front of her house kids were shrieking and shouting as they played as there were very few other places to play.

Larry cloth ears Lark
 — larrylark

Dear Unknown,

Thanks for the comment.

Larry
 — larrylark

Dear Notecomposure,

Boys behaved very oddly at that concert almost taking on the characteristic of the girl fans who threw jelly babies and screamed the place down. I guess they were throwing of their inhibitions and revealing some of their feminine side.

Larry girl talk Lark
 — larrylark

Dear Justine

I'm glad you think so

Larry
 — larrylark

Paul could do with some encouragement at the moment ... :-)

P.S. Did they really throw jelly babies?? What a strange thing to do!! Or, was it the modern day equivalent of throwing yr underwear ...
 — JustineCH

Dear Justine

On the day of the concert in Novenber 1963 Mr. Rolly Poley's Jelly Baby Emporium ran out of jelly babies because they  all ran off to watch the  concert alonf with  the gingerbread men. People threw jelly babies because they were cheaper and you got more for your money than chocolate truffles. Paul is paying the penalty for an injudicious choice of partner as he tried to recdapture his lost youth and he can hardly be blamed for that but i have heard from his butler who i am in regular correspondance with that he still eats 40 pounds of jelly babies a day.

Larry wibble wobble Lark
 — larrylark

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 — brizb12

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