poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Charlie Walker
opal

Charlie wasn’t good at school.
 1
His teacher always used to say,
 2
‘Charlie Walker, what a talker.
 3
Sit on the mat near me
 4
where I can see you Charlie Walker.’
 5
His writing missed the lines
 6
and his rubbing out was smudged.
 7
but I liked to help him write his news
 8
for I was good and he was naughty,
 9
poor, unlucky Charlie Walker.
 10
I could see he was misunderstood,
 11
Dad in gaol and mum in bed
 12
with local bookie Wally Chalker,
 13
poor, afflicted Charlie Walker.
 14
When Antony scribbled
 15
on my stencil, Charlie stabbed him
 16
with a pencil. Hauled off
 17
to the naughty chair,
 18
as I passed I stroked his hair.
 19
Tousled hero Charlie Walker.
 20
At play I let him ride the leopard
 21
who lived among the waving grasses
 22
that grew behind the Junior classes,
 23
intrepid Charlie Walker.
 24
One day while we were climbing
 25
in our favourite apple tree,
 26
his face became a blur
 27
that I could barely see.
 28
I knew then it was time
 29
to let him go, to set him free,
 30
let him befriend another
 31
solitary child like me.
 32
Gone but not forgotten,
 33
Charlie Walker.
 34

29 Oct 06

Rated 10 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (7): 1, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(115 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

I really like this.  Nice rhythmn and interesting plot.  I actually knew a kid named Charlie Walker - and he fit the description of the character in your poem.  At first I thought you might have known him too - he'd probably be about 28 or 30 now- then I read the rest of your poem.  
 — unknown

whimsical and fun to read, I enjoyed it a lot. I hope we all have had friends like this, real and imaginary
 — gjenkins

very sweet,Consider letting last line go, it is quite clear by then.
 — unknown

I needed the last line. I did not get the fact that he was an imaginary friend. Where else did it elude to that fact? I will re-read.
 — NeighborDi

I've changed imaginary ti invisible after a year of pondering to show that he has faded into memory. Sometimes it's best to think things through - ha ha!
 — opal

Changed the last line twice in an hour after 3 years - (this must be shome kind of record - ed?).
 — opal

I never saw this one before.  It sounds like an old folk song to me, could be sung with a slow guitar and a twinkle in the eye by some minstrel!
 — Isabelle5

He was imaginary?  I thought you pushed him out of the tree!  haha
 — Isabelle5

I'm always amazed when people think he's real!
 — opal

Changed line 32 again  - that's it now!
 — opal

Well, you said the teacher spoke to him and made him sit by her, what are we supposed to think??
 — Isabelle5

You're meant to be wrong-footed and believe he is real at first Isabelle, but gradually realise that he isn't. the child in the poem wants him to be real and she dictates the reader's responses - the poem gradually reveals the fantasy world - how can the mother be having an affair with Wally Chalker - it's a spoonerism! How can he ride a leopard in the field? This is all the little girl's imagining - she is doing all the naughty things but blaming them on Charlie!
 — opal

Recent Best (expand)
    0.308s