poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Night Out
larrylark

An Antiseptic stench accompanied
 1
rusting dented notice.
 2
“These toilets are regularly inspected
 3
Etcetera, etcetera…….”
 4
Something hung in the air,
 5
A threat?
 6
Don’t linger long.
 7
On wall, message scrawled
 8
Next to lock, like a wistful tune
 9
or song
 10
“Meet me outside for cock, six o’clock.”
 11
Surveyed watch, almost that.
 12
Adjusted hat, shuffled feet,
 13
Swift stroke of handle,
 14
Detritus of another dull day
 15
swirled into subterranean world.
 16
 
 
Went out,
 17
Place deserted, left and right.
 18
Give it five minutes,
 19
No one. Wander away?
 20
The park?  Local for a pint?
 21
Pick up girl or guy?
 22
Bright light city beckoned,
 23
No where wanted to go.
 24
Sighed. Avenues sealed
 25
cul- de- sac,
 26
dragged himself home,
 27
bedsit, cocoa, early night,
 28
BBC Radio 4?
 29
 
 
But try the dress on
 30
just once more
 31
run fingers through.
 32
Brand new, silk,
 33
brought at clothing store
 34
this morning.
 35
Christ there must be
 36
hundreds of guys like me
 37
I want to touch want to grow,
 38
want my insides to flow,
 39
before my mid life crisis goes
 40
up in smoke. I want a bloke with
 41
huge dimensions and a hairy chest.
 42
He turned slowly round,
 43
went through the door,
 44
back down into town,
 45
wobbling on his stilettos,
 46
pretending to be Marilyn Monroe
 47
walking under moonlight,
 48
dressed in a ball gown.
 49

3 Nov 06

Rated 6 (6) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 6, 6

(define the words in this poem)
(623 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

The choppy pace picks up the further along you read if you can get past the first 15 lines. It was quite enjoyable toward the end.
 — unknown

I think you are right. Now i have had it pointed out to me i think the first stanza could be discarded in its ehtirety.

Larry severe edit Lark
 — larrylark

0.264s