Easy to tame with drill and strong bit,
bored deep in his head where pugnacity sits.
Stuff all his legs inside special cast splints,
mount him on rollers so he cannot sprint.
Construct round his frame a coat molded of iron,
push him down to the zoo to view panthers and lions.
For then he will realize how lucky he is,
to be fed on a diet of prawns and bucks fizz.
15 Nov 06
Rated 8.5 (7.8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 7
Inactive (4): 1, 4, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(738 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
Add A Comment:
a lobotomised tiger on wheels!!
i want one!
i like your cruel poem
i thought it was hilariously funny
Thanks for your kind comment. I also design trusses for penguins and giraffes.
Larry crazy zoo Lark
mostly i love armadillos and alpacacas: they wear ribbons in their ears you know?
another lilt by
larry liltin' lark, eh?
pet tiger indeed. i'm seein' stephen hawking
there're some rhythm issues here...
L4-can't (i think cannot, or somethin' 2 syl there)
L6-down (i'd suggest remooovin' it)
also-on th'pet tiger...
i like th'double meanin' there of
L1-drill (repetition for learning), and strong bit (equestrian)
Isn't this what Jeff Dahmer tried to do with his boyfriends? This is too weird!
I adore wearing pink ribbons in my ears. Maybe i was one in my previous life. A pink ribbon i mean.
Larry instant karma Lark
I'm so pleased to know that there is another fan of welly's on this site. I wear them all the time as i find it saves on shoe leather. Thanks for your detailed crit ,some of which i have acted upon.
Larry wellington boots forever Lark
Nice one Larry! Didn't know tigers liked seafood ... Poor tiger :-)
Glad you think its weird as that comment matches perfectly with the inside of my head.
Larry grey splatter Lark
You surely must have heard of tiger prawns?
Larry frogman Lark
Oh, you are so witty :-))
I like them sauted in a fine Californian wine but the tiger takes them neat.
Larry cordon blue Lark
No, he doesn't! He takes them with bucks fizz!!!
P.S. Who is Diana?? :-))
I must apologise for getting your name wrong. I have been so busy this week that i don't know whether i'm on my arse or my elbow and the super store has run out of Chunkee's Tiger food and he's starting to growl. Thank god for the big bag of prawns i sauted in bucks fizz for my pet gorilla who is also usually partial to a treat but fortunately has got an upset stomach from eating my pet gerbil. Alls well that ends well Dahlia.
Larry noah Lark
Larry petted Lark
I forgive you :-).
Funnily enough I wrote a poem today called "Deceiving Diane" ...
I always think truth is stranger than fiction and thats maybe why i rarely tell the whole truth.
Larry half bare faced Lark
everybody pls calm down. only the third stanza saves this poem a fate worse than death...the dreaded gallop rythm. also, its probably not about a cute stuffed toy. is it nice to punish? perhaps.
>its probably not about a cute stuffed toy
I want a big dollop of the serious stuff your on.
Larry GRRRRR Lark
unknown — no name no game
no i should say all the time