poetry critical

online poetry workshop

E-go Bounding Sixties Style

He go, we go, I go, she go,
down to the Lido,
dancing at the disco.
Sixties pixie, dance-steps tricksy,
Guitar picks licksy,
Go for a fixie.
Kaftan, Cheyenne, far man, out man,
Pee in billy can
underneath an afghan.
Joss stick, cool chick, psychic, delphic
freewheel electrics,
folksy fiddlesticks.
Easy rider, slim, slow slider,
Mind blown on cider,
Lay down beside her
Nine months later, don't wanna date her,
prefer big sister
should have kissed her instead.

29 Oct 03

Rated 8 (7.7) by 7 users.
Active (7): 7
Inactive (15): 1, 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(847 more poems by this author)

(4 users consider this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


You had me until the very last verse, when suddenly all the ME of those times came roaring back. Except for that last verse, it's fun to read and makes you want to dance in our chair.
 — Isabelle5

A real gem. Loved the way you ended this - great timing. Best bit for me = 9 - 11. I'm smiling again. Thank you very very much.
 — unknown

 — unknown

Fantastic rhythm, original style, excellent work.
 — Infrangible

Ghostface Killah? It's a good poem. I don't know what to say to you. To the readers who don't get this, I recommend reading the words nice and slowly. It'll make sense.
 — zepplin42

i love the rhythm of this.

there's a song it makes me think of. billy joel's still rock n' roll tmo e, i think. that's the beat[and the music..] i'm singing those lines to in my head.

listen to the song, then read this over, and you'll see it. the first two stanzas are my favourite.
 — shakeit

wow, that was a horrible typo.

Billie Joel - Still Ronk N' Roll to Me

somehow it came out as something else entirely.
 — shakeit

pah. great title.

im gonna write bout discos in the eighties now. influenced by this. and write it using techniques like in this maybe. im ripe for a parody.

i fun this
 — kaleidazcope

Thanks for the kind comments ,i will pass them on to the hibernating dormouse who wrote this after waking up from a long sleep and thinking he was still in the 60's
 — larrylark

Good. More like this.
 — dookie

wow, this is great, i actually danced around, your rhythm is great, it's quite original. i haven't read something like this in a while
 — Gabriella

Dear Gabriella

thank you for reading and commentating on this homage to my lost youth.

Larry where have all the flowers gone Lark
 — unknown

the rhythm is really catchy!
 — imahabit

Dear Imabit

Glad you like the rythmn

Larry on the beat Lark
 — larrylark

goood. i like the flow
Kaftan, Cheyenne, far man, out man,  9
Pee in billy can  10
underneath an afghan.  11
good set of lines there
 — modioperandi

don't need a weatherman
to know which way the wind blows
 — unknown

Dear Unknown

don't follow leaders watch your parking meters.

Larry selling postcards of the hanging Lark
 — larrylark

2nd stanza- make the words more parallel, either change Sixties pixies to "sixties pixie" or add S s to the rest. Just my opinion, like the rest except some rhymes were a little forced, or maybe I pronounce words differently.
 — Cloudless

Dear Cloudlewss

thanks for the suggestion which i agree with and have acted upon.

 — larrylark

You are welcome.

 — Cloudless

i l o v e this. thats all.
 — adiscodancer

Dear adisco dancer

This is one of the first things i wrote and has a dear place in my heart. Glad you liked it
 — larrylark

just fab! loved it.
 — Meep

 — unknown

Dear Unknown

I like cute.

 — unknown

Quite the twisted nursery rhyme, Larry.  Love it.
 — housepoppy

Dear Housepoppy

I love nursery lines almost as much as your comment on my poem.
 — larrylark

Lotsa fun - reminds me of a song "Pop Music" by a band called M
 — CrunchyWeta

i liked it alot it has fantastic rhythm everything went great together
 — tawshabyers

clicked on random poems and glad i did. i remember this gem :) excellent playful rhyme and meter.
 — Ananke

great rhythm, drew me in immediately,
and i knew instinctively which syllables
to speed up, which to slow down.
well done, but
L17- not fittin' the flow
i read this a cuppla times over
and always tripped there...
 — chuckles

Hi Chuckles

glad you enjoted my slalom through the 60's as i think i remember it.

Larry far out man Lark
 — larrylark

nice lyric. pretty bubblegum, but the color's pretty. the last stanza is hickok, and maybe "grown to hate her" is gratuitous? the loving spoonful had that "did you ever have to make up your mind," which was also pretty jingly, and it was about this kind of conflct; i think your colors are better and more plastic, but they were new york junkies.
 — mikebauer

very Dylan. Last verse - a let down, like the end ryhme 'er' should finish with the word masterbat'er'.
 — unknown

Only just got the reference to Ezy Rider and Slim Slow Slider - that make me an old git then? Riding on the highway of desire. He says the free wind .....is probably IBS.
 — dia

you abandon traditional word usage to make this a delight to read, in the sense that it rolls like humorous music. very nice.
 — listen

this poem sticks out a lot, from your library. i don't know why. i like the music behind it. i just thought i'd let you know, if you ever decide to revisit one of your initial masterpieces.
 — listen

mr larry very very nice riff lark.
i'm in the mood for dancing...

actually just singing it...can't dance.
: )
 — fractalcore

this read's with so much rythym it's great. The best bit for me was lines 9-11 aswell.
 — spikeydarrin

well, i'm still singing it
trying hard to dance.
: )
 — fractalcore

I liked this a lot, but some of the images seem to be more 70's like billy can and the disco.

Nice writing.
 — pasnitro

whoa, hello again,
larry dear sir lark.

: )
 — fractalcore

Hi Fracts

I feel like a man who has neglected his first poetic love but to be honest i have not the time and patience for PC these days though it is a good enough place to store my miserable scribbles

Larry scribbling away to little sffect Lark
 — larrylark

lol. this poem is swell. can you tell?
they don't serve breakfast in hell.

words to your mothers.
 — mandolyn

Some like breakfast hot..I prefer muesli being a pretty cool guy and bound neither up or down
 — larrylark

 — raskolniikov

I recommend California Syrup Of Figs for all problems with shit

Larry master blaster Lark
 — larrylark

Disco was even invented in the sixties.
 — unknown

Paul appeals Coach Purses Outlet to people Coach Factory Outlet whose knowledge Coach Factory Outlet of major Coach Factory Outlet Online issues is Coach Factory Outlet Online superficial (and) Coach Outlet Online he sees Coach Factory Outlet conspiracies where Coach Purses there are none Coach Factory Outlet," said Greg Coach Factory Store Valliere, chief Coach Outlet Store Online political strategist Coach Outlet Online Store  at Potomac Coach Outlet Online Research Group Coach Outlet, an analysis firm. Coach Outlet "If he does Cheap Coach Bags well in Iowa Coach Factory Outlet Online, which is Coach Outlet Online likely, it Coach Outlet Store Online will be Coach Bags
an enormous embarrassment to the Republicans."However, Paul's calls for a dramatically limited government and a hands-off foreign policy are resonating among voters who have grown deeply alienated from Washington after a decade of war and nearly five years of economic malaise
 — angleone

Few watch aficionados realize that the Japanese brand seiko watch has a history as old as many of  its Swiss rivals. Founded in the 1880s, the company began manufacturing wrist seiko watches after World War I and quickly  became an innovative leader, developing one of the world's first seiko  automati c and seiko chronograph.  But perhaps Seiko's greatest achievement came about in its race with the  American brand Bulova to harness new technology, leading to the quartz watch,  which revolutionized the industry and nearly drove the Swiss out of business.

  More  innovations followed, including the first computer wristwatch, in 1984, and the  first nonbattery s eiko kinetic watch. To this list we can now add another  groundbreaker: the Seiko Spring Drive  mechanical movement, which is accurate to one second per day, making it  approximately three times more precise than the average mechanical watch. The  Spring Drive also provides an enduring seventy-two hours of power reserve (most  watches offer about forty) and winds 30 percent faster than a conventional movement.

  According  to seiko uk, twenty-eight years of work  went into developing this movement, and only five of the company's hundreds of  watchmakers possess the requisite skills to assemble it. Regardless of its technological  history, the seiko 5 is  a skillfully designed watch, with graceful hands and interesting use of  off-center dials.

 — shaotang

Baby Stroller or baby jogger provide the as comfortable as possible environment,and  it is easy to operation.Stroller make implementation also have fun,it is very stable  for children pram stroller and soon folding good-its compact size,Strollers can  be easily into your car.In addition, parents can easily in the baby DiLan,portable  crib and seat assembly convert between and ready to deal with any situation.

Choose the best  security products, common the baby care in the future.Buggy stroller prepare a lot of produce.For example, Bugaboo Donkey,Bugaboo Cameleon,Bu gaboo Bee,iCandy Baby Stroller,peg perego,baby jogging stroller,and other best strollers.


    Baby  Strolle rs always has the  responsibility of the safety travel for child of the world travel,adhering to  the "safe,comfortable, vogue" research concept.For you feel at ease,in order to better protect the babies  travel security,we always do your best,believes own choice,more believe our baby shop.

 — unknown

Seiko watches have a very rich  heritage dating way back to the nineteenth century that was and still is  dedicated to perfection. Environmental issues nowadays are a big factor that  drives consumer buying habits. This Seiko Watch has been blazing the  trail when it comes to combining environmental conservation and watch making.


    Seiko UK are produced in plants that have fully complied with  the waste disposal management regulations. This has gone down to the process of  production to intricate steps of soldering where the quantities of lead have  been reduced. This Seiko Watches UK has many firsts including being the only one to fit  mercury free batteries.


  Currently research is underway to develop  alternative sources of power to cut down on the impact of used and discarded batteries.  In addition to this, Seiko Solar powered units are being tested in a bid to completely eliminate the use of  batteries in the watches. Such a display of an aggressive desire to go green  has not been witnessed for a very long time.


  To further underscore the uniqueness of these  products, only a small number of technicians are involved during the actual  production of these watches. Production is shared between two studios and two  hundred and forty craftsmen. Seiko has been a pioneer in watch production, the first divers piece was commissioned  by this company in the early sixties. It could resist the water pressure up to  a depth of one hundred and fifty metres.

The Seiko Sale has the  collection of Ladies  Seiko Watches,Seiko  Kinetic,Seik o  Monster,Seiko Automatic,Seiko 5,Seiko  Mens Watches,you are warm welcome to buy one from them.
 — shaotang

In sixteen twenty-one,a big celebration of barbour  ja cket took place at Plymouth Colony in what is now the state of  Massachusetts.European settlers known as the barbour jackets were  celebrating their autumn harvest after a winter of struggle.

  Other colonists held earlier ceremonies of thanks.But  the Pilgrims' three-day feast is often called the nation's first barb our coats Thanksgiving.President Abraham Lincoln  declared a national holiday in eighteen sixty-three during the Civil War.

  Today families and friends gather on the fourth  Thursday in November.And,thanks to the barbour  quilted jacket United States Census Bureau,here are  some facts about where their Thanksgiving meal comes from.

  The main dish is traditionally a turkey.About  two-thirds of the nation's turkeys are produced in Minnesota and five other quilted barbour jackets states.Producers are expected to raise  two hundred forty-eight million birds this year,two percent more than last  year.

  Popular side dishes include cranberries and sweet  potatoes.Last year North Carolina barbour sale grew  more sweet potatoes than any other state.Wisconsin is expected to be the top  cranberry producer this year.

  People often finish the meal with pumpkin pie.Last  year Illinois grew the most pumpkins.California,New York,Ohio and barb our uk were  also major pumpkin producers.

  Thanksgiving is a big event,but buying a barbour mens traditional holiday meal can be a  struggle for the poor.So charity groups often hold food drives to collect food  for barbour ladies low-income families.

 — shaotang