|Dutch Still life Interior (1658)
Each tile and brick individually scrubbed.
Pewter rubbed among transactions of thrift and purpose.
Solid wooden chest invests the wall,
draped in tapestry, handed, father to son,
counting the cost of a life saved
against what’s to come.
Beyond the courtyard wall, dogs howl
among cattle dung,
while ragged souls cast despairing glances
over roofs whose chimneys were adorned
with polished smoke.
19 Nov 06
Rated 10 (7.5) by 1 users.
Inactive (3): 7, 7, 8, 10
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Very nice and picturesque. I don't think I got it all in the first read (I'm not supposed to, am I?), so I will read it again. The first part is more a Vermeer, while chimneys adorned with polished smoke reminds me of Cezanne. A Dutch interior with a window to a Modernist French cityscape?
I alaways think a poem should be anything you want to see in it and i adore Vermeer and think Cezanne one of the finest painters ever.
larry, you're maturing with age.
you get better with each poem of yours i read.
Larry, having spent most of my life in Holland, I can say you have truly captured the Dutch Golden Age essence here!! And, this is most certainly not Jan Steen's interior :-)). Brilliant.
this is lovely. was this poem inspired by any particular painting?
If you uncorked my bottle the words to describe the smell would be over ripe with a faint hint of fustiness. Thanks for the inspiring reply.
Larry vinegared Lark
The nearest i ever got to Holland was a pair of clogs.
Larry well shod Lark
It was inspired by the recent film about Vermeer's model whose name escapes me.
Larry in the pink Lark
"The Girl With the Pearl Earring" ...
and there was me thinking it was The Girl With The Opal Crusted Handbag.
Larry silly boy Lark
Asshole poem. Tetto is the biggest asshole. This poem is #2.
Hey man slow down or your arsehole will be left behind on the sidewalk and you'll have nothing left to shit out of.
Larry old fart Lark
I think you could do better than to endstop the first two lines, Larry. They seem too clipped, too abrupt. Especially as I consider this as a single image, like looking at a dark painting, a little slice of life. They shouldn't be cut off like that.
Do you think l3 could use an article before "solid wooden chest"? It seems a little awkward to read. Also there appears to be an extra space in l5, between "of" and "a".
I like "polished smoke" and some of the imagery of scrubbing, thrift, etc in the first strophe. Well done, for all my nitpicking.
Thanks for your crit and i think you are right about the first two lines and i will consider ways i might change them. Your comments are really appreciated but i will address them fully after my birthday tomorrow.
Thanks once more
Larry pensionable age Lark
Bene. Happy birthday, Larry. Remember not mix beer and wine.
I'm afraid your sound advice has come to late but i have my daughters here at the moment and like guardian angels they will keep a careful watch.
Larry bending into 60 Lark