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A Land Far Away

As I sit down for dinner I think of my favorite place...
Garlic sand dunes lay upon my plate,
ready to sting my throat with its spicy flavor taste.
I gaze at the Himalaya Mountain of ice cream;
the freshness of the chill air swimming laps
around its peak.
I can feel the coolness kiss my cheeks and the
stormy wind tango with my long locks.
I soon become distracted with the lush rainbow
assortment of vegetables, beautiful saris, which will
dance to the rapid pace of the dhol once consumed.
The spice of red hot chilies and brown mustard seeds
dance ferociously, flamboyantly, furiously in my mouth
until the awaiting monsoon is desired so passionately,
like a child in the heat who longs for a white Christmas.
Here it is! As a flood of a mango lassi extinguishes
the flames in my mouth, it leaves me with a
satisfying memory of my favorite place...

28 Nov 06

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thank you for this delicious thing      
 — jesusgun

read it again....just makes me want to dance around and ... oh well
 — jesusgun

Hey ! the best surprise till date.
 — trochee

Hmm ... this has a good rhythm.. a good begining and a nice ending. the last stanza is the best. you might be torn apart with rude criticism ...so u might want to add a footnote that "this is your first attempt at poetry". to me it doesnt seem so.

Line 4 should be Himalayan.  line 12 chillies. you could think of some better words for alliteration in line 13.

and yes you forgot one more important thing in the end.     a burp!!
 — trochee