| before i ever wrote shitty poems.
|
fdostoev
| i was | 1 |
a young bank examiner | 2 |
drunk beyond repair | 3 |
in downtown chicago. | 4 |
| |
i'm going to the ghetto, | 5 |
i said | 6 |
in a cavalier tone | 7 |
to the other | 8 |
drunk examiners | 9 |
at the rush street bar. | 10 |
| |
i stumbled north | 11 |
where the broken pavement | 12 |
reeked | 13 |
of open sewers and | 14 |
the homeless | 15 |
were putting down for the night | 16 |
in bus stops and | 17 |
alleys. | 18 |
| |
the street vendor | 19 |
sold me a fifth | 20 |
of whiskey and | 21 |
let me piss | 22 |
behind his car, | 23 |
| |
don't get lost | 24 |
around here, | 25 |
he called after me. | 26 |
| |
a shattered | 27 |
black woman | 28 |
sat on the steps | 29 |
of a rotting | 30 |
apartment | 31 |
building, | 32 |
| |
she | 33 |
nodded, | 34 |
| |
i | 35 |
nodded | 36 |
back. | 37 |
| |
sexes? | 38 |
she whispered | 39 |
and patted the space | 40 |
beside her. | 41 |
| |
i | 42 |
sat. | 43 |
| |
she | 44 |
put her arm | 45 |
over | 46 |
my shoulders. | 47 |
| |
for twenty dollars | 48 |
we could go | 49 |
upstairs | 50 |
and i could do | 51 |
whatever. | 52 |
| |
all i wanted | 53 |
was to talk | 54 |
for a bit | 55 |
and | 56 |
get to know | 57 |
her view | 58 |
of the world. | 59 |
| |
she looked at me | 60 |
like i'd just | 61 |
shit in her lap | 62 |
and said | 63 |
if we wasn't gonna fuck | 64 |
get the hell on cause | 65 |
she had mouths | 66 |
to feed. | 67 |
|
3 Dec 06 |
Rated 8.8 (8.3) by 14 users.
Active (14): 1, 3, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (7): 1, 6, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(86 more poems by this author)
(7 users consider this poem a favorite)
|
Add A Comment:
|
Comments:
excellent work
— unknown
thanks for reading.
justin.
— fdostoev
Depressing as hell.
But right on the money with what a lot of people are going through.
Well done, Justin.
-MEB
— unknown
Stupid. Just like that stupid piece of shit Donald Tetto.
— unknown
not bad,
but the ending is a bit dense.
I think you can trim it.
— unknown
not bad,
but the ending is a bit dense.
I think you can trim it.
9, ten if you shore up the ending.
— unknown
I don't live in this world, but oh my this was stark and shivered my spine. You sir are a poet of high regard.
Jen.
— unknown
hey!
thats great
sharp and honest
— danni
very awesome!
— mister9a
A bleak view. But totally convincing. Well done.
— smugzy
I love the Ending! It's perfect.
— FolleRouge
This is wonderful, the lonliness is felt wholly. The ending I agree is perfect.
— unknown
if this were displayed horizontally, it would be seen as far less. the trick behind most of your poems is the surprising last line and the more innocent lines that trap the reader's expectations.
— unknown
Into the heart of darkness Mr. Kurtz.
— stephenwbd
very good stuff, i like the secretary thing. got me thinking. i might do one like this straight away.
— mmoneypenny
excellent poem
— Food4DSoul
Aw, I liked the first other title better. stilll amazing.
— MEB
whats the big deal??? your game and tactics are up
— unknown
dark
— ProzacNation
This is so rugged but it just flows like paint right down the page. I can picture this entire scene.
— Isabelle5
Justin! You really have some depth and diversity in your poems, have to give you that.
Imc
— Isabelle5
it's another great poem
— kendell
very bukowski - nice. but one question: why "sexes" in line 38?
— guy_fawkes
guy,
thanks for reading.
"sexes" is what she said. i think she was sudanese and her english wasn't all that great.
justin.
— unknown
Awesome slice of truth from da street. Excellent! :-)
— starr
p.s. I hope that lasagna doesn't still taste like soap. :-O
— starr
Very sharp, tense and uncomfortable. Well, well done.
— sybarite
|
|
|