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Future Perfect
larrylark

Man with gold milk, thick cream on top,
 1
Lies down in clover, pick of the crop.
 2
Silk socks encased in the finest of suede
 3
Drinking campari with real lemonade.
 4
 
 
Man with the sour, clotted and turned
 5
Lies on bracken and heather that's burned,
 6
Shod in fake leather – it falls off his feet
 7
Drinking warm bitter in a pub without heat.
 8
 
 
Man in his mansion – size of a castle
 9
Rich velvet hangings and curtains with tassles,
 10
Monocled, powdered, dryer than gin,
 11
Drinks in the mountain top's pure oxygen.
 12
 
 
Man in a bedsit, gas ring and meter,
 13
Huddling over a paraffin heater
 14
National Health glasses, skin like a rhino,
 15
Breathing in fumes, obscuring the lino.
 16
 
 
Man wearing Rolex, platinum chain
 17
Eats spoonfuls of caviar washed down with champagne.
 18
Perusing Picasso, Renoir and Dali,
 19
Taking breaks in Jamaica, Monte or Bali
 20
 
 
Man with a digital hung off his wrist
 21
Eating steak pudding, gravy and chips
 22
Flicking through Mayfair, Rustler and Knave
 23
Paddling at Skegness, counting the waves.
 24
 
 
What of their futures, now they've drawn their last breath?
 25
Doesn't it matter when the living are dead
 26
The Grim Reaper beckons the rich up to God
 27
The one with fuck  all stays under the sod.
 28
 
 
                  
 29
After Laycock  and The Two of Us by Simon Armitage.
 30

7 Nov 03

Rated 9 (8.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8
Inactive (3): 7, 8, 9, 10

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Comments:

This is brilliant. Great pacing...a nice smack at the end. But Future Perfect as the title doesn't seem to fit the ultimate resolution - it never pays out. Maybe a change?
 — ka

This is very easy reading and the rhymes are not at all contrived. Not sure about line 28 - is that what you meant to say or how you meant to say it? It seems like something is wrong with that line. The only thing wrong with this entire piece!
 — Isabelle5

Line 26 seems to be a question with no question mark.
I have no problem with line 28 except that there seems to be an extra space between "fuck" and "all."
 — dweasel

Praytell, what is a "bedsit"?
 — Lia

I would like to reinforce what dweasel said, and would also like to add that I believe "mountain top's" is one word.

Until you tell me to stop, I will charge on ahead.
 — Lia

I knew I liked this poem, and it had put in my favourites list a long time ago.

I like to stumble on favourite poems again. It's like seeing a familiar face in a crowd of thousands.
 — Lia

Dear Lia

I'm so honoured to have my poem among your favourites.At first i thought you were bullshitting me so i checked and sure enough there i am. Life sure is beautiful sometimes.A bedsit is an apartment where all your life support objects are in one room. In England they are associated with exploitative landlords,students and mad old guys who have been slung out of the family home for making their wives miserable. I once lived in one when i was a student 100,'s of years ago and it sure makes me glad that i now live in a tent
 — larrylark

I wouldn't bullshit you Larry. Or, at least not about something boring and pointless like that.

I hope you have fun in your tent. Is it green? I like green tents.
 — Lia

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