poetry critical

online poetry workshop



for you and soren (a 'not so glowing' report)
hank

what they search for has found them
 1
what they look for is seeing them
 2
what they hope for is eluding them
 3
what they care for is controlling them
 4
 
 
what we search for is controlling us
 5
what we look for has found us
 6
what we hope for is seeing us
 7
what we care for is eluding us
 8

14 Jan 07


(define the words in this poem)
(444 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

this is pretty interesting, but I think it would benefit from some trimming. the repetition got stale to me by the end. consider condensing it. pretty good.
 — snow

i don't think i could condense this any more than i have. there are very few words here.
in fact there are only- 13 different words. give or take.
it's very condensed.
 — hank

i see, i hear, i speak
i see for the dumb
i hear for the blind
i speak for the deaf

the world is the world
- blind, deaf, dumb -
i am where i dwell
no longer trembling

nice poem hank
 — unknown

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