poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Formal Valentine for the Femen
netskyIam

notes:

Women is a sexist word.
Woo, indeed; hence, femen.


poem:
 1
 
 
 
 
Ah, dear Ladies, I'd court you well
 2
each one—appealing as a belle
 3
 
 
I love your soft, your tender parts
 4
your cuts and saucy girl remarks
 5
 
 
My lust for you is so high class
 6
it's just—I prefer
 7
a man's ass
 8

28 Jan 07

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

Is there a conflict with having I'd in L1 and then I in L4?

Ah, dear Ladies, to court you well  
each one—appealing; I'd love
    
your soft and tender parts  
your cuts and saucy girl remarks  
    
My lust for you is so high class  
it's just—I prefer  
a man's ass  

Just some ideas ^
 — unknown

ok so then you would have to delete 'so' from L6.
which kind of ruins the ending
 — unknown

Hmmm, I don't see a conflict--if I were -not gay-, I'd surely love to love the ladies.
But as it is revealed in the crude comic finish: I do prefer a man's ass.  Yeah,
even just the ass is preferable (by far!) for company here, moreso than in making small talk by valentine with the worthy ladies.    
owatagosiam, yep.  But it's all true. thanks
 — netskyIam

closed underscore tag left open by mistake
 — netskyIam

The rhyming in this poem is, without a doubt, horrible.

"well / ... belle" is, perhaps, one of the worst forced rhyme I've read to date.

This isn't even clever in its execution and there are several conflicts:
soft vs. tender
lust cannot be high class



Ugh... just not good poetry.
 — unknown

Recent Best (expand)
    0.309s