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Old Woman In a Tea Shop

Sorry dear,
what did you say?
Don't mind me
I've had a lifetime to pay.
I'm a kindly old dear
slightly deranged,
losing my mind
and a place in the queue,
staring at shelves
counting my change,
not even amusing myself.
A vanilla slice please,
the one over there,
among the arrangement
of loaves and eclairs;
no, not the tea cake dearie,
hear my own voice
cheering me up.
Time yet still
for a camomile tea
to ease my weary bones.
That ham roll
with the crusty edge,
by the pork pies piled up
by the window ledge.
Each has a cost,
a price to be paid.
Shall l have an ice-cream?
or a still lemonade?
Thank-you madam
for your courtesy
and kind attention.

16 Nov 03

Rated 8.5 (8.6) by 2 users.
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Poignant. Very well done
 — unknown

This is a tasty bit of lemon creme. Is the writer British, by any chance? It doesn't sound American.
 — Isabelle5

This is so well- observed and unsentimental. Very convincing interior voice too.
 — opal

This is poor.
 — Wix

But wixie my darling,she was poor

Larry poor persons poet Lark
 — larrylark

I can just picture you in your old age, an ancient muttering woman meaning the best, but tripping over cracks on the footpath.

When did you get a sex change? (Or am I assuming too much?)

 — Lia

I can find no fault with this poem.

You took the fun out of it!
 — Lia

Dear Lia

This is a found conversation poem heard almost word for word in a confectioners.
Glad you like it.
 — larrylark

this is by no means poor. sums up teashops jus like how it flows constantly is like the people walking in and out and its propa hovis good. long live albion
 — Barnabee

Dear Barnabee

You have captured my intention perfectly

Thanks for reading
 — larrylark

I work with and for the elderly (social worker with a Gerontology concentration). Love this!
 — wamblicante

Dear Wamblicante

I'm coming to live out there so i can be one of your clients .I like my tea shaken not stirred and the cream scraped off of my cream bun so i can mix it with my shaving foam to get a better texture and a closer shave.

Larry cut throat Lark

PS you are a very kind man to take an interest in a whispy bearded old bastard like me and i thank you for it.

PPS could you possibly send me some cocaine and cannabis via return of post
 — larrylark

Dear Larrylark,

If you were my client now, you'd have to pay me well! I've been out of work for almost seven months now and my UIB just ran out. Other than a small state pension from past employment you'd be my only income!

You say you're a "wispy-bearded, old bastard". How old are you? I'm 57 and I think I'm an older bastard than you are. Isn't that right?

If you wanted cocaine and cannabis, you'd have to check with my oldest son. To my great dismay he's done both! Pot I think he still does now and then which bothers me but not too much. Cocaine, thank God, he tried and quit!

Wambli i like tea too Cante

 — wamblicante

Dear Wamblicante

Thanks for the reply. Sorry to hear about your work predicament,luckily i don't have to bother much about that side of things anymore as i was offered and took early retirement 4 years ago . So i now have the time to breathe and walk about in the sunshine. You'll be pleased to note that i am an even older codger than you,old git Opal calls me, being 59 at the end of November. Don't time just fly though i don't mind that now i'm filling it more productively. I have also 2 sons as well as two daughters though my boys are a bit young to fall into decadent ways yet being 8 and 14 . The girls live in Manchester where one works and the others at Uni.

Hope to hear fromyou soon

 — larrylark

your poems have an ability to make me smile - thanks once again
 — philoanon

Dear Philoanon
Thanks,but i won't rest easy till i have you busting a gut.

Larry light entertainment Lark
 — unknown

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 — louis123

I love this. We have an old lady like this who visits our restaurant.

L7-8 made me laugh.
The last three made me sad.

Thanks for the great read I thought this was going to be a whatyousee poem but it's brilliantly layered.
 — thechosenone

an actual poem.
 — unknown

Love the way you portray the woman in this poem, very truthful yet unique to what everyone would expect.
 — isabelscott

The cake shop is now a porn shop and the little old lady has passed onto a place where cream buns are forever

Larry sausage rolled lark
 — larrylark