| silence amplifies our love
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hank
| a single sleepy innocent cough from the distant bedroom where you sleep and our home becomes an infirmary | 1 |
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18 Feb 07 |
Rated 6 (7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 6, 7, 8
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Comments:
Is cute and short. Needs punctuation.
— PollyReg
congratulations.
-v
— unknown
Lovely, I agree though, it does need punctuation.
— sisotowbel
after re-reading, i'm not really sure where i would put punctuation.
— hank
a single, sleepy, innocent cough from the distant bedroom where you sleep, and our home becomes an infirmary
but it's a personal thing - you might just prefer not to punctuate, which is fair enough. Its just that I feel the need to imagine how it is punctuated - otherwise it reads robotically in my head.
— sisotowbel
with a single sleepy innocent cough from the distant bedroom where you sleep
our home becomes and infirmary
v.
— unknown
henh.
'an'.
nice poem hank.
how are ya?
v.
— unknown
why an infirmary rather than a sanctuary ?
— Mongrol
yesyesyes
i like your scene.
familiar
that is one wordy
little cough, dontcha think?
enjoy 'em...
— chuckles
a single sleepy
innocent cough
from the distant bedroom
where you sleep
and
our home becomes an infirmary
this way you wont need any (punctuation).
— trochee
ha ha, funny old random
— unknown
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