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silence amplifies our love
hank

a single sleepy innocent cough from the distant bedroom where you sleep and our home becomes an infirmary
 1

18 Feb 07

Rated 6 (7) by 1 users.
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Comments:

Is cute and short. Needs punctuation.
 — PollyReg

congratulations.

-v
 — unknown

Lovely, I agree though, it does need punctuation.
 — sisotowbel

after re-reading, i'm not really sure where i would put punctuation.
 — hank

a single, sleepy, innocent cough from the distant bedroom where you sleep, and our home becomes an infirmary

but it's a personal thing - you might just prefer not to punctuate, which is fair enough. Its just that I feel the need to imagine how it is punctuated - otherwise it reads robotically in my head.
 — sisotowbel

with a single sleepy innocent cough from the distant bedroom where you sleep
   our home becomes and infirmary


v.
 — unknown

henh.

'an'.

nice poem hank.
how are ya?

v.
 — unknown

why an infirmary rather than a sanctuary ?
 — Mongrol

yesyesyes
i like your scene.
familiar
that is one wordy
little cough, dontcha think?
enjoy 'em...
 — chuckles

a single sleepy

innocent cough
from the distant bedroom
where you sleep

and

our home becomes an infirmary

this way you wont need any (punctuation).
 — trochee

ha ha, funny old random
 — unknown

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