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Hunched Over, This Friend
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Dark and blue,
 1
 
 
callused from depression,
 2
increased longing
 3
for all that hurts.
 4
 
 
Blades piercing through,
 5
the only cure in deflating
 6
 
 
the dunes,
 7
which gathered
 8
because of
 9
 
 
your need
 10
to carry
 11
the filth and grime
 12
of others.
 13
 
 
Burdens, there are
 14
 
 
many,
 15
covering the shoulders,
 16
stretching
 17
your taut pain.
 18
 
 
Why do
 19
 
 
you steal
 20
the problems
 21
that don’t belong to you.
 22

25 Feb 07

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Comments:

the second stanza is my favorite. beautiful.
 — Anachocolata

thanks. this poem was an opposition piece to my other poem "Luring the Child, This Dragon" ... not really relevant but in case you wanted to know.

appreciate your reading. was wondering if this poem was subject to disappearance.
 — listen

this is a sad, sasd piece listen, but you carry it off well. my only prblem is with stanza 3- i have a prblem deciphering those lines--it's late and my mind is in flux--it's time for bed.
 — PaulS

know the feeling. i'm not quite sure why i'm currently awake, if the truth be told.

but, to explain a couple of things. blades was meant to have a double meaning, with particular emphasis on the idea of "shoulder blades." his blades were basically puncturing the dunes that gathered on his back ... dunes being symbolic of peoples' sand/dirt.

the other meaning was the reference to blades as in knife blades. the reverse psychology, it would seem, of the suffering somehow making him survive, of the knife blades somehow helping him cope with his suffering. crazy, i know ... but sometimes i wonder if that is a part of some people. that somehow, the blades deflated the symbolic dirt.

hope that made sense. thanks for asking. and of course, your comment is appreciated.
 — listen

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