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slippers
hank

like a guillotined cerberus
 1
a whisp of helen
 2
or the arms of hector
 3
your two vacant lambskins
 4
rest here
 5
you stepped right out of them
 6
the impression of your two feet lay still beside me
 7
it seems
 8
toes directed outward
 9
they are laughing and
 10
are engaged in impatient conversation
 11
i am pacing
 12
they scare me into thinking
 13
with a breath of life they could walk
 14
with crushed heels they will pick up
 15
with crushed heels walk a world away
 16
and print all over a newly painted floor
 17

28 Mar 07

Rated 6 (8.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 6
Inactive (2): 10, 10

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Comments:

"Cerberus" truly stands out and does not fit within the context, mood or language of this poem.
 — unknown

hell conquering, beauty, strength.

...and why do you quotationize cerberus?
 — hank

and it must be some poem if you are immediately an expert on the context, mood and language of MY poem.

but i guess you've now made it yours. thanks.
 — hank

Sorry, hank, I was under the impression that this was a poetry critique site and that by posting you meant to seek some constructive criticism. Silly me.
 — unknown

i would love some destructive criticism. amazingly, you don't even have to pay for it these days.

please tell me more about this poem.
 — hank

oh, and by the way, i never post in the effort to seek constructive criticism. i post to keep limber.

if i want 'cc' i'd become catholic or something. (maybe that's why i frequent the pub).
 — hank

http://poetry.tetto.o rg/read/39654/
 — varun

i like the use of impression.
should it be impressions?
 — varun

wonderful lack of punctuation
I love this pome but
do slippers have heels?

most slippers simply get crushed, flattened in time--
poor little creatures

like mute puppies

but just as playful
when they inhabit feet

wunder-fol!
 — banditfemme

my slippers have heels   so do my feet
even my hands, with which i might heal
my heel of a lover after i hit her
him them err,
have heels;
truly they heal
shortness

love
betty
 — bettalpha

wisp

Punctuation is vital.  Please add some to help the reader.

Lie still, line 7, not lay.
Line 12 - you might need to add "that" before with - thinking that with a breath."

crushed heels they will pick up with crushed heels?  What?
 — Isabelle5

wow.
 — hank

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