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Becoming Emily
Bethl

All comments are welcome.

It is said that a stone may only go
 1
As far as you can throw it and
 2
That life may be as large as you come
 3
To know it. And so it is
 4
For me.
 5
 
 
From the vast and hollow spaces of
 6
My empty home, I have learned
 7
To live life from the inside, looking out.
 8
I’ve explored the inner verticals, the
 9
Imploding horizontals, wandered through
 10
Untraveled corridors and the once
 11
Forbidden passages, roamed freely over
 12
Full, uncharted landscapes and the
 13
Jagged, rich, interior of my captive
 14
Human roadmap.
 15
 
 
And in hushed, consoling beauty
 16
Of morning’s quiet hum, I lift my
 17
Face to no one but the memory of a
 18
Thousand rising suns. A sweet and
 19
Seasoned symphony of crickets guides
 20
My crooked feet, while fleeing families
 21
Of trees extend their nimble arms
 22
Like midnight phantoms. The quixotic
 23
Chorus of their colored leaves sets me
 24
Drifting, their random entries and long
 25
Departures are never mentioned, hardly spoken.
 26
 
 
But in the black and seamless brilliance
 27
Of evenings heated sky, I look up
 28
And stars become spaceships and
 29
Spaceships turn to moons, and my
 30
Dreams are like voyagers or
 31
Twilight journeymen, collecting
 32
Pieces of the day and storing them
 33
Like missing jewels.
 34
 
 
And I yearn for other times when
 35
Choices were so few that minds dressed
 36
Up like stoics, when Walden Ponds
 37
And self-reliance were not simply
 38
Useless parts of metaphorical debates.
 39
I’d keep myself content in the company
 40
Of Emerson, seek solace in the pines
 41
With, the help of my Thoreau. It is
 42
Here where I see Emily, in the sternness
 43
Of New England, spinning out her years
 44
In golden threads of verse.
 45
 
 
Yet how can I presume my reluctant
 46
Transformation to a poet I don’t
 47
Know and cannot come soon to fathom,
 48
For the darkness howling in my eyes
 49
Has left her work in shadows. I
 50
Only can imagine that words became the
 51
Canvas with which our unprotected souls
 52
Sought temporary cover. For like unrequited Emily,
 53
Solitude’s my constant mistress, and though
 54
I try to leave, it seduces me in time.
 55
 
 
So, when I think of her, trapped inside
 56
Her moments, placing pain and
 57
Sorrow within her rueful scripture,
 58
I pray for my transcendence from the
 59
Lonely vault of silence, as I
 60
Design a living history within my
 61
Pinup world.
 62
 
 
Silhouettes of friends dance across
 63
Cold windows, a  mother’s silky hand
 64
Smooths my restless sheets. Sofas
 65
Rise and fall to the vanished breath
 66
Of fathers, dressers empty and
 67
Unfold old fragile faded loves.
 68
 
 
Each object heals and dazzles
 69
With the vigilance of memory,
 70
Until the satin hush that was drowning
 71
Me in whispers has renovated time
 72
In heroic fabrications, decorated meaning
 73
With rekindled, sacred wisdom,
 74
Freeing Emily’s spirit from
 75
Its unholy chain of loss.
 76

13 Apr 07

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
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Comments:

niiiiiiiiice!!!!!! this is gr8 work.
commendable choice of words. loved stanza 8.
If you got to fill u a form or a questionairre to describe yourself... i think this poem would serve as the ultimate apt choice. do really consider it. :-)
If you want someone to know you deep and better than anyone else.. show him/her this poem... they might fall in love with you.

i M not sure but u could do away with the autobiographical tone in your piece.. remove all the "I"s and see if you like it all the more.
 — trochee

Dear Bethl

This is a truly brilliant and sustained piece of writing that held me captive from first to last. Some people on here need to wake up and find all that the noble fruitful yet terribly lonely persuit of the muse that so often remains tantalisingly out of reach. I don't know the Emily you refer to but it brought to my mind one of my favourite female poets, Emily Bronte and so much of what you convey here i could fit into what i know of her life and work. Thank you for posting this poem.

Larry
 — larrylark

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