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Train Spotter
larrylark

I have committed several while remaining undetected,
 1
so perfectly planned are my random crimes.
 2
Always on a train, I cannot be deflected,
 3
choose victims by chance and not through grand design.
 4
 
 
Throw them on the track when the corridors deserted,
 5
wait several months before attempting it again.
 6
The police think they’re all suicides, their efforts not concerted,
 7
“It happens all the time when lives can’t be sustained.”
 8
 
 
Don’t need a psychotherapist or to lie down at the shrinks,
 9
life must be destroyed to stop the ache inside my head.
 10
My pain is greater while my mind sits on the brink,
 11
It only goes away when I pass it to the dead.
 12

20 Apr 07

Rated 7 (8) by 2 users.
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Inactive (1): 8, 10

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Comments:

Rather horrifying ideas.  You could commit suicide by peeing on the electrified rail.  It's happened before.  
 — Isabelle5

Larry, you got me again.  I can never figure you out!!!  Okay, I'm not scared of you anymore.  
 — Isabelle5

perfect example of how Isabelle acts with a great amount of hypocrisy. she gets all beat up until she realises it's someone she likes. "i'm not scared of you anymore" - need I say more?
 — unknown

You're full of crap, Unknown.  I was afraid of the persona that would write something like this.  Do you recognize humor when it's in front of you?  The note was for Larry, not for you.  
 — Isabelle5

then email him. you werent afraid of the person who wrote it. why would you be? you just wanted to make a statement. and when it turns out to be Larry, you no longer care. you present these opinions daily towards other poems and posts. it's all hypocritical.

sorry to deface your poem like this larry.
 — unknown

Quit analyzing me and stick to the poem.  Geez, I wish this site could weed out the finger pointers!  
 — Isabelle5

once again, you display a tendency to contradict yourself - you are preaching what it is you are doing yourself - evident here on this poem.Isabelle, you are much a finger pointer as the rest of us.
 — unknown

Please please desist desist. thou art making loud noises in Larry's head at just about the  time when he is trying to get his beauty sleep

Larry sweet dreams Lark
 — larrylark

I like you poem lots.
Sleep well Larry.
 — sisotowbel

Hi Isabelle

I wrote this after reading The Vatican Cellars by Andre Gide where the central psychopathic character randomly throws people from trains to satisfy an inner urgent compulsion and he theorises that he can get away with it as he, the perpetrator is not linked to the victim in any way as in most murders where the immediate family members are the suspects..

Thanks for reading Isabelle and I will always love you forever in the poetic world.

Larry inner urges Lark
 — larrylark

Hi Unknown


I am sure you know I would forgive Isabelle most things and thanks for your contribution.

Larry
 — larrylark

got me thinking there for a minute Larry ... times of contemplation when we are so crammed into small spaces next to our fellow human beings being hurtled along the stinking tunnels of the underground

i wonder how many people imagine similar things about the person they are forced to press up against for a little bit of space form others around them

it also made me wonder just how many of these underground suicides are in fact suicides and how many are called suicides for convenience sake, but are in fact this very type of insanity

you have a little spark in your own mind - a well written and versed piece Larry - the story and insight into this persons mind is captured perfectly

-Mong-
 — Mongrol

Scary and realistic. I'll never take the train again ...
 — JustineCH

Dear Mongrol

Life is full of speculation but truth is almost invariably stranger than fiction.

Larry shadowy Lark
 — larrylark

you're scaring me now Larry

;)

-Mong-
 — Mongrol

Dear mongrol,

whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

larry scary lark
 — larrylark

i've always liked how you use punctuation a little different than average, as you did with the double period, slight humor there that is hard to place. that has really nothing to do with the poem itself, what i think of it, just something i like and have noticed sometimes about your writing.

the poem itself ... what is there not to like? morbid but not discouraging, as it is interesting, dark humor perhaps.
 — listen

Dear Listen

I guess my punctuation is a little squew whiff but its the way i hear the words in my head though they are difficult to pick out sometimes among all the other voices in there.
Thanks listen, must fly, I have a train to catch.

Larry murder on the Accrington Express.
 — larrylark

This is uber scarey.
 — wendz

Hi Wendz

You must surely realise by now I have the thoughts of strange people in my head .

Larry head banger Lark
 — larrylark

I like this. Hee. It's rather graphic. You've painted the story well.
 — heat-her

Hi Heat her


I tried to write a poem about murder where the connection with the victim is random. These are the hardest crimes to solve.

Larry clickety clack Lark
 — larrylark

HA I love this.

I hope ur not really a murderer...this is hilarious to me. Hopefully that's the way it was intended. I've been known to chuckle at sad things before.

This is great though, even the rhyming.
 — themolly

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