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from one to the other

14.  travelling at a high rate of speed
over a glossy glassy land
locked freshwater lake in my
14 foot glastron skiflight overly propelled
by a 60 horsepower mercury outboard with power trim
the intermittent drizzling rain
drops feel like bee stings to my face
39. carving mild steel frenetically
on a gray windy overcast rural england day
with my hand cramped onto an oxy acetylene torch
that it is permanently 'on'
the spattering of tiny molten bubbles
on the forearms bee stings
and we enjoy being reminded of the stinging
rain drops

18 May 07

(define the words in this poem)
(465 more poems by this author)

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if you put the welder before the sailor
the reader experiences the memory at the same time you do.
(and then you dont need 14-15.)
and then its an open book again to redeal with and a nice one.
 — unknown

you need a comma after forearms.
i read this wrong at first.
i would also use another word for 'stinging' in L14 as have it in L13 and L7.
and L2, not sure about 'glossy glassy' -i would drop one or the other.

nice imagery. :)
 — mandolyn