poetry critical

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a momentary lapse of season
hank

sleet teeth tempest
 1
late may day
 2
entombed entwined we lay
 3
open three eyes
 4
remember
 5
a sun affair wracked december
 6

27 May 07

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Comments:

Nice.
L 4 - refreshingly original
so does L 6
 — trochee

yes, nice observation of the incongruous weather we've had over the last few months, and a sense of comfortable seclusion observing it, open three eyes is interesting imagery - bringing the secoind person clearly into view also.

i know this picture well. :)

-Mong-
 — Mongrol

thanks. wow! i just opened a window and the fly actually flew out!
 — hank

if you want to get flies out of your place, you have to (on a bright sunny day) turn off all the lights to make your place dim, and open all doors and windows. the flies will fly out to where the brightness is.
 — unknown

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