poetry critical

online poetry workshop



She Speaks
netskyIam

At
 1
Florence Nightingale's house
 2
London, July the thirtieth
 3
 
 
Eighteen hundred and ninety:
 4
When I am no longer even
 5
 
 
A memory, just a name
 6
I hope my voice may
 7
 
 
Perpetuate the great
 8
Work of my life. God
 9
 
 
Bless my dear old comrades
 10
Of Balaclava. And bring them
 11
 
 
Safe to shore
 12
Florence Nightingale
 13

3 Sep 07


(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

She speaks her poem-self for =you=
http://tinyurl.com/2maq8a
 — netskyIam

correct link here, pardon me:
http://tinyurl.com/2maq8a
 — netskyIam

Links are at this moment inoperable (Donald's done something).
Must copy, then paste either link into your address bar manually.
It's key to the poem
 — netskyIam

I am confused about the 30th July 1890.
It's good you never used any puns on thin lines or lady of the...
Because i don't understand the poem in its entireity i won't suggest you dump L1 or rewrite  L12.
 — unknown

It's merely a transcription of her spoken words, relined as I think looks best.
Hopes to renew her presence for those who hear the matching speech.
I feel that both go together, and both are of her, really.  Thanks.
 — netskyIam

This poem really intrigues me, unfortunately my poor brain can't think of an appropriate comment. So in the hope of reading other people’s crits I'll just say, BUMP
 — unknown

It depends from (hangs from) the audio link.
Until Donald fixes the click-ability of a link,
we have to copy the link manually, paste it into the address bar.

If you do that you'll hear the real author of this piece.
Just get  tinyurl.com/2maq8a into an address bar of your tabbed browser.
Then autocomplete should cause it to take you to the sound file.

Then you'll see that all I could do, was lay it out in a relief of a form
which might have pleased her wishes: to be heard.

Note how she starts, puts out the preamble in normal speaking voice.
Then there is a long pause. Strange taps are heard.  Then commences
the poet's voice, exactly what she wanted us to have of her,
honed to an essence.   I find her remarkable, and in this sense,
living yet today.

Thanks for the bump for her (tap, tap,     tap)

Reid
 — netskyIam

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