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Night Patrol

Bull sniffed dull tent peg,
toe protrudes. Under canvas,
head of hill bound hiker
rudely snores,
slumbering among dreams
of a shiny compass,
glucose lozenges,
sturdy shoes, torch.
He turns and mumbles.
By dawn he will have moved
through damp uplands
towards the North.
A tarnished horn lifts a flap.
Wasn’t born last year,
he’s a seer from the year before.
Survived the foot and mouth regime,
breathes clouds of steam
onto Ordinance Survey Map.
Turbulent weather seeps along
its brown contour lines.
He looks up, unimpressed
by the brightening night.
Next day darkened early,
the hiker looked behind.
Noted with approval
how far he’d climbed.
Cattle scattered like dots
lowed, strolling towards
a light green square,
sitting irrefutably there,
flattened in the centre of
their dew soaked field.
Cows gathered round
to speculate on this portent
of increased milk yields.

13 Sep 07

Rated 7 (7.5) by 1 users.
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wondered why the use of article in line 2 when you did so well articleless in the previous and following lines?

maybe there is a little to much aside action = see line 28 to 32

good camping and tramping in the wild subject though.
 — bettalpha

hey larry. i can never pass up a cow poem.
 — bettalpha

I am also wondering about the mysterious article in line 2. I think that overall, this poem has an uneven use of article and pronouns. I feel like the flow is somewhat interrupted in the last stanza.
Nice idea, though. Good job!
 — Burrito

I love the way this is written. Haven't completely understood yet but rereading will not be a chore. :)
 — unknown

Thanks for the advice bettalpha. I have never been able to resist asides since I saw Sir Laurence Olivier evilly plotting in Richard 111 at the Accrington Odeon.

Larry wots my name Lark
 — larrylark

I can never pass a bull without bursting into a sprint.

Larry best time for 100 metres 17.8 seconds persued by a bull across Farmer Jenkins field. Lark
 — larrylark

Hi Burrito

You are right and I am working on flow.

Larry the trickle Lark
 — larrylark

Hi unknown,

Isn't life chock full of chores

Larry house husband Lark
 — larrylark