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Sweets at Eid

I was a kid
who ate sweets,
or rather sucked them
hard against
the rough edge
of my rainbow coloured tongue,
which my mother
hung out to dry among sheets
and lingerie
on the Monday morning
washing line,
as she preferred silence
at such times.
Grandma said my
sweet tooth would decay,
soured by life
and the endless delay
between dreams and wayward reality.
Now I take no sugar with my tea,
avoid that taste of sweetness
as it sits uneasy on my palate.
But yesterday during Eid,
a lovely girl about to leave
turned and offered  sweets.
Hard boiled, I discreetly fed them  
into my burning cheeks.
There is so much to recall
from memory triggered by  taste.
In my haste to capture it,
and join up with the past,
I wrote down what never came to pass.

15 Oct 07

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
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Inactive (0): 9

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Very bittersweet. I love it!
 — dream

Hey larry lovely poem.

Eid Mubarak!
 — trochee

loving lines 16 to 18 and the very last verse.. very poignant.
 — Mongrol

Hi dream,

Its amazing what small incidents can bring the past flooding back, but is it the past as we knew it?

Larry mother of invention Lark
 — larrylark

Starts off quite boring, but recovers to salvage something worthy of second reading.
This piece would benefit greatly were the entire first stanza deleted altogether.

Good Luck.
 — unknown

Hi Unknown

Thanks for making such an interesting point

Larry pointless lark
 — larrylark

I love the first 15 lines,
and all what follows.  

Not only did your sentimentality give you away;
but  your odd, random  extra spacing also hinted   to you
mr. larko.

nice writing.
 — jenakajoffer

Hi Jenakajoffer

The day I can slip one past you will be "the day"

Larry dazed Lark
 — larrylark

Hi Mongrol

Thanks for the comment

 — larrylark

I love this larry; so pleased to discover it randomly!

I disagree with the unknown who suggests you delete the first stanza. I found this captivating from the start with very beautiful internal rhymes, understated emotion, and in my opinion, one of your better poems.

The last stanza feels superfluous to me and if anything, the poem might benefit from losing these lines.
 — smugzy

Changed my mind. I like the last stanza today. :-)

 — unknown