|Sweets at Eid
I was a kid
who ate sweets,
or rather sucked them
the rough edge
of my rainbow coloured tongue,
which my mother
hung out to dry among sheets
on the Monday morning
as she preferred silence
at such times.
Grandma said my
sweet tooth would decay,
soured by life
and the endless delay
and wayward reality.
Now I take no sugar with my tea,
avoid that taste of sweetness
as it sits uneasy on my palate.
But yesterday during Eid,
a lovely girl about to leave
turned and offered sweets.
Hard boiled, I discreetly fed them
into my burning cheeks.
There is so much to recall
from memory triggered by taste.
In my haste to capture it,
and join up with the past,
I wrote down what never came to pass.
15 Oct 07
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Very bittersweet. I love it!
Hey larry lovely poem.
loving lines 16 to 18 and the very last verse.. very poignant.
Its amazing what small incidents can bring the past flooding back, but is it the past as we knew it?
Larry mother of invention Lark
Starts off quite boring, but recovers to salvage something worthy of second reading.
This piece would benefit greatly were the entire first stanza deleted altogether.
Thanks for making such an interesting point
Larry pointless lark
I love the first 15 lines,
and all what follows.
Not only did your sentimentality give you away;
but your odd, random extra spacing also hinted to you
The day I can slip one past you will be "the day"
Larry dazed Lark
Thanks for the comment
I love this larry; so pleased to discover it randomly!
I disagree with the unknown who suggests you delete the first stanza. I found this captivating from the start with very beautiful internal rhymes, understated emotion, and in my opinion, one of your better poems.
The last stanza feels superfluous to me and if anything, the poem might benefit from losing these lines.
Changed my mind. I like the last stanza today. :-)