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H KNUD XNT
fractalcore

..
 1
Your
 2
        knees have me
 3
                pill-
 4
                     owed for a good while
 5
                                            While
 6
                     I
 7
lay under
 8
your
 9
        magnolia spell.
 10
 
 
 
 
                     I
 11
                                      forget
 12
     where
 13
                     I –
 14
                am I
 15
     where
 16
                                 again?
 17
                      The mountain,
 18
       meadow
 19
              NO...
 20
your
 21
                        eyes deep in.
 22
 
 
 
 
   Soon enough I –
 23
                               melt,
 24
         lift
 25
                                       my head close to
 26
 
 
             Yours (I'm yet again)
 27
 
 
                                                            to
 28
            kiss and tell
 29
                                                          you
 30
 
 
 
 
                       I –
 31
can't
 32
                                                 speak,
 33
                             not
 34
            now;
 35
 
 
 
 
    'Tis you telling me.
 36



written 12/09/07

13 Dec 07

Rated 10 (9.6) by 1 users.
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Comments:

h knud xnt?
nice.
h gzsd xnt.
 — unknown

unknown: sgzmjr.  :)

madderhatter: thank you so much. will return the gesture soon.
            ;          &nbs p;something popped up and compelled me to change
            ;          &nbs p;the poem's format. i'm not really sure  you'll
            ;          &nbs p;like it but tell me what you think.

till then,
 — fractalcore

gee, that looks terrible.
lemme rewrite.

unknown: sgzmjr.  :)

madderhatter: thank you so much. will return the gesture soon.
something popped up and compelled me to change
the poem's format. i'm not really sure  you'll
like it but tell me what you think.

till then,
 — fractalcore

beautiful love poem
i love the effect of confusion here:
  I
11
            ;          &nbs p;          &nb sp;     forget
12
     where
13
            ;          I --
14
            ;     am I
15
     where
16
            ;          &nbs p;           again?
 — nisetru

thanks, nisetru.
the affection on the eyes of the lover
is just too captivatingly clear not to
warrant getting lost in them.
just one of those moments
i tried hard to capture in these lines.
any way i can improve the piece?
 — fractalcore

btw, the first "Y" there is a flower; the dots on it are pollens.
the whole thing used to look this way:

H KNUD XNT

Your knees have me pill-
owed for a good while
While I lay under
your magnolia spell.

I forget where I --
am I where again?
The mountain, meadow
no, your eyes deep in.

Soon enough I - melt
lift my head close to
Yours (I'm yet again)
to kiss and tell you

I -- can't speak, not now;
'Tis you telling me.
 — fractalcore

oh
your flower comment just then made me look at it differently and now it seems almost like a double helix-type looking thingy
what with the I's going down the middle like a stem or something
i read it and found the stunted speech to be not too bad at all
merry christmas
 — chuckle_s

merry christmas, chuckle_s (and nisetru)
: )
the idea was just to allign the rhyming words,
without the helix effect in mind but now it seemingly
took the whole falling-for-her point to a higher
level. that maybe an accident some ways but i say
love is not.

thanks for reading.
 — fractalcore

thank you for liking this, rask.
: )
 — fractalcore

this one I liked very much. Even more than this metaphysical poetry before....wonderful. ivana
 — unknown

thanks, ivana.

: )
 — fractalcore

lovely, fract--classic writ
 — unknown

Other than the format, this is simple and sweet. Nicely done.
 — spaye08

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