|Letter Home To Momma
I beg your pardon for my gigantic folly
of chopping down the Christmas tree
setting fires among the holly,
but you see, she'd got as far
as you can get inside my head,
so no longer could she wander
through this starlit squandering world,
to stay out late with foolish boys
she'd grown so very fond of,
with their nickel and dime charm and easy lies,
so I think she understood
as I stabbed her with the hunting knife
you got me for my birthday
(here's hoping there'll be many more),
you see she's better off without that kind.
Now she floats mindless,
preserved for me in formaldehyde.
Must go Momma,
someone's knocking on the door.
Your ever loving son
11 Jan 04
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Yes, psycho is a good word for the title since the poem is odd and a bit psychotic, but nonetheless, psycho is a word that shouldn't be in a poem title at all, I don't think, maybe if the poem was actually a more normal letter one would send to one's mother, then it would work better. It starts out having a rhyme pattern with lines 1 and 3, which is distracting. Either keep a rhyme pattern or get rid of the first one. I cannot tell what's going on in the poem, and thus I cannot say much related to the content.
Thanks for comments. The poem is meant to be the product of a disturbed mind - hence its being disjointed. That also accounts for the partial rhyme scheme, which also suggests the double unhealthy relatinship with the mother.
I really like this - it's very disturbing, but black humoresque at the same time. I think the structure is good - it captures something of the off-kilter thinking of the writer. It's clever to be able to write a dramatic monologue like this, provided of course it isn't autobiographical.
I like it enough as it is, but try to rhyme just a tad bit more. For some reason I guess I'm just not 'feeling' the poem. I can't associate with what the speaker is saying...make it more personal. Make me feel what's going on. Imagery, symbolism, etc.
You are all so stupid! stupid stupid people. This is amazing. the disjointed rhyme scheme is perfect coupled with the internal half rhymes like get and head. And the one really really long sentence, I love it. oooh it gives me shivers. Very very well written and a gorgeous diea - linking the banal with insanity. tres bien
Can we say Sylvia Plath? Anne Sexton?? Anyone? Anyone?
yes, we may say them... if we are so inclined...
just re read this, still love it!
I love this. I ran across it one late night a couple of weeks ago and didn't comment out of laziness. It's dark and and fun, and well, almost makes me feel like a bad person for thinking it is so funny (all good dark humor has some element of guilt). Police at the door maybe? Great ending that lets us guess. Of course there are a few problems with flow and the disjointed rhyme scheme, but given the subject, and your usual careful work, I assume that was intentional.
dear mom ny ass
comes close to 'sonny's lettah'
that's a compliment
This is bloody brilliant.
I misjudged you, Larry Letter Writing Lark.
No need to apologise for finally seeing the genius that is Larry Lark
Larry Grandiose claims Lark
I should send this to my mother. I think then we'd be even.
You'll never get even with your mother ,she's got too much on you
Larry she's too much for my mirror Lark
Sick and twisted but very effective! Apparently this guy had his buttons pushed one to many times. Ah well, we all have our breaking point! You took a stab at writing some black humor and came up with a heady treat! Bravo!
This, I will admit is quite good. but I like poems to read with more structure. Otherwise, very good. (9)
Do you think if i stay in the cellar for another year or so people will have forgotten my ghastly crime?
Larry tapping in the dark Lark
Did you change this around a bit? Something seems a bit different from the last time I read this. I still love it. Maybe just a different point of view.
Still a fav
No,nothings changed but i'm really happy you still like it.
I love this. Larry you astound me with your range. This is funny, dark, a bit sick and totally convincing. I can just imagine you having a chuckle as you wrote it.
I'd like to write bad poems all the time but nice thoughts keep getting in the way. Glad you liked it ,your comments are much appreciated
Larry trying to be evil head Lark
When he opened the door i killed him with my bare hands.
Larry the noose Lark
Larry channeling Norman Bates Lark. Love the apathetic tone.
I captured me perfectly as i add another to my collection but i wish they'd stop staring at me with those accusing eyes every time i check the formaldehyde levels.
Larry king of his domain Lark
gotta love languid Larry Lark.
It's February 2007 and I see this poem is old, but certainly not worn out. Heh, Heh!
Larry lies languid dreaming of lobotomy and all those other things that could help him rejoin the human race.
Larry frontal lobes Lark
not psychotic enough
I'd rather be a funny poet than a serious one finding it increasingly hard to take anything in what we laughingly call life seriously.
Larry helium gas Lark
Glad you finally took care of the bitch.
pb's "finally took care of the bitch" comment is almost as great as the poem. Larry, you could indeed almost include it IN the poem. Ah, but don't. It worked out nicely the way it has. F'n hilarious, and spooky. Doesn't she seem to be desperately squandering, Clarisse? I have to say that "chopping down" the Xmas tree is a touch out of place, LL, maybe: if it wasn't sitting in the living room already chopped down, is it a Christmas tree yet? Just a thought. Even so, that doesn't take away from the piece, and besides, N thought he was chopping down the xmas tree, so it probably doesn't matter. Even if he only peed on it, ha ha. Who's at the door? Gacey come to pay respects. 9. Nicely terrifying 9.
i love this, and i love finding your comments on other poems because your signature sign off always entertains me.
Larry frozen cucumber and mint julip tea with a touch of the hairballs Lark
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