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Moments
frank

cinnamon, vanilla, sweat
 1
 
 
             dry pine crackeling,
 2
 
 
     you
 3
      
 4
                  me,
 5
 
 
                    -and-
 6
 
 
        nothing to come-
 7
  
 8
                       between us
 9
 
 
               (
 10
                       except
 11
                                
 12
                                time
 13
  
 14
                                               )
 15

14 Jan 04

Rated 6 (6.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 6, 7

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Comments:

I like the way you make the reader's eyes move about the page.
 — opal

Short lines, few words and yet so very strong. Great!
 — tiny

Romantic and smells like sex in here.
 — Isabelle5

*sigh* I like it...makes me remember those moments where I thought "I wish time wouldn't run out"

*claps hands*
 — unknown

i like it, you get right to your point kindof a romantic like she said...nice job
 — unknown

didnt mean to post anonymously my bad^^
 — unfabulous01

indeed alluring! so apt - 'except time' & how it has been emphasized sounds cool & sexy
 — unknown

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