poetry critical

online poetry workshop

how many times in your life

do you see
a feather
floating off a tree?

18 Feb 08

Rated 8 (7.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 7, 9
Inactive (3): 7, 7, 8

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- well I've a few cats and, well, they, ah, like climbing trees and, well, you know the birds are there, then well, you see where I'm going with this - but definitely a floating image - I remember a racket and leaves and birds and cats and feathers all floating surreal like in a tree -
 — AlchemiA

nice one.
i have seen feather floating in thin air but not sliding from a leaf or something ;(
 — trochee

maybe write in the eyes rather than the question mark.
 — DeformedLion

enjoyable and provokes some thought...
 — poetbill

yey, thanks alchemia for the image.
trochee, your time will come.
deformedlion, i don't quite understand what you mean.
and poetbill, thank you.
 — photobooth

how many times in your life

does a feather

float off

           before your eyes

a tree?
 — photobooth

is it me or have these ghost hands
touched?  feel the sparks

like spring in december
or the kraken in your bed,
slime wriggles from your head.

isee isee!
the birds shaving in the branches, sans
sharp sticks can make you bleed,
the tree, the tree!
  it has nice thighs,
and golden hair, and bird shit

And the feathers are all
misaligned.; my crown

sorry for that, but i felt like it.
 — DeformedLion

:D don't fight the feeling, dear!
 — photobooth

I once saw a feather floating through my pee in the back of The Odeon when i entered a best dressed bird competition drank 17 pints of "Soar Like An Eagle " extra super strength lager and spent the rest of the night pissing through my feathers.

Larry wet suit Lark

excellent observational poem which makes me think of the minutia of life
 — larrylark

charming, larry. that's real charming. maybe you should write a poem about it.

thanks for your excellent observation.
 — photobooth

An interesting image. An interesting thought. Would like to see this expanded.
 — stateofmind

expanded.. i'm thinking thinking thinking about it. help me out?
 — photobooth

expanded...maybe a lot of feathers?
 — unknown

Maybe an entire chicken.
 — stateofmind

with two side dishes?
 — poetbill