poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Larry Lark As "Elvis The Egg Man" - "A Quartet"
larrylark

1. Yellow Egg Ochre
 1
 
 
Born in a chicken shack,
 2
my momma laid eggs.
 3
I squawked,
 4
walked into the world on two legs
 5
peckin at grits thinkin’ “Shit!
 6
is this all there is.
 7
Whatever's missin’ is some place out there,
 8
way down along the Mississippi,
 9
far from this farmyard muck.
 10
Cluck cluck.”
 11
 
 
 
 
2. Moody Blue Velvet
 12
 
 
I found a rare plumage
 13
and my voice soared
 14
charming birds from trees,
 15
some are so easily pleased.
 16
Farmer Parker recognised my charms
 17
Made sure my feathers never flew.
 18
Clipped my wings,
 19
became bigger than Bing,
 20
i swear my eggs were golden,
 21
as all day long I'd sing.
 22
 
 
3 Titanium Pink
 23
 
 
My eggs were class,
 24
more than a million shot out of my ass.
 25
So we bought a pink ostrich feather lined shed
 26
filled with hand made straw,
 27
stuck it right in the middle of the road.
 28
It was then the eggs went bad
 29
I lost the charms I had.
 30
Instead of coq au vin,
 31
ate peanut butter and hamburger bits,
 32
mixed in with my grits
 33
 
 
 
 
4 Toilet Brown
 34
 
 
All stuffed up like a battery hen,
 35
grew so large couldn’t fit inside my den.
 36
Took me ten minutes to walk into the john
 37
and one day I never came back,
 38
even though anointed as the chosen one.
 39
Guess I had to leave
 40
Gone in one heave,
 41
and though it wasn’t right
 42
that was the end of that.
 43
 
 
THE END
 44
 
 
This was a LL production which deliberately sets out
 45
to tell the real story of an all American chicken.
 46
 
 
The feathers have been dyed to protect the innocent
 47
The bad eggs turned into light fluffy omelettes
 48
and sold as laxatives to those too bunged up with shite
 49
to know any better.
 50

The moral of this sad tale

bad eggs scramble peanut buttered brains.

27 Feb 08

Rated 8 (7.8) by 7 users.
Active (7): 8, 9, 10, 10
Inactive (4): 1, 1, 3, 9, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(658 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

way to go, mr larry "but which came first: chicken or egg?" lark.
: )
 — fractalcore

Dear fractalcore,

Glory glory halleloo woo hoo ya

Larry Billy Furious Lark

In answer to your question the devil told me they both arrived at the same time.
 — larrylark

and which went first?

and was that before or
after the mass?
: )
 — fractalcore

Dear fractlefore

Being a practising poet I have no time to attend mass but have been known to send the Pope a pair or two of swimming trunks for when he takes a holiday in holy waters. Having wrestled for many years with the conundrum of life and the universe and wot came first in the middle and last i have to conclude that i am the universe and all that i see, though not all that i know, is all that can be for me, but even as i write this i am thinking did i come before or after fractalcore and is he/she a mere shimmering illusion in the oasis of my own being

Larry Steven Hawkins lark
 — larrylark

...i am me am i we...

long live Steven Hawking.
: )
 — fractalcore

Dear fractlecore

Everyone can come together but not over me.

Larry ju ju eyeballs Lark
 — larrylark

yess!

let's skip mass altogether
for one reason or whatever --

butt!

come together
over you never.

so long, mr Larry the 5th Beatle Lark
: )
 — fractalcore

a double yolk...
 — poetbill

Cheers fractlecore

If there's anything that you want, if there's anything i can doooo, just call on me and I'll send it along, with love from me to you da de da da da dee da dum

Larry mop top Lark
 — larrylark

Hi poetbill

I hope your doubled up.

Larry big cheese Lark
 — larrylark

very drole, monsieur troll. :)

now, indeed, can you do your impressions of philip larkin? or of, at least, the lark ascending?
 — joey

Sie liebt es, yah yah yah.  Thank you very much.
 — VeroniCat

LOL!!!  I want a pink ostrich feather-lined shed too!!!  Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!  I mean, buck buck buck buck buck buck ba-CUCK!!!  You are TOO FUNNY, L.L.!  Love, Starr
 — starr

Hi Veronicat

And my fondest felicitations to you to.

Larry
 — larrylark

Dear Starr

Love you to

Larry
 — larrylark

Dear unknown

Sure thing dude.

Larry beneath stars Lark
 — larrylark

wow thats a really good poem i liked the manner in which it progressed through the various stages of elvis' life from humble beginnings and forgive me i really know very little about elvis to discovery of a voice a feeling for musical expression in adolescence coinciding with the lure of the young pretty birds is parker the name of his agent or something then on to incredible fame and decadence and finally a wretched demise too soon for many of his legion of fans i remember the summer of 77 being at my buddy's grandmothers when they had just heard the news and she and her friend crying and me and buddy sort of just grabbing a couple cookies then heading back out on our bikes really a cultural giant of all time but i suppose only time itself will determine that but its been over 30 years and still there are people like you writing poems about the guy so i guess you never know at least you didnt write about camus
 — chuckle_s

also its great the way you hide your rhyming i really admire your ability there
 — chuckle_s

i told the dude not to paint this with gouache. now it's just faded to gauche.
 — joey

Hi Chuckles

This was, as I am sure you have noticed painted in acrylic with pastel overtones. Go onto my web site Larrysuburbananapuce.com and i feel sure you will do nothing but admire my painting of a purple hound dog after eating 3 pounds of tripe stolen from Mr. Joseph's offal emporium. Good night and sleep tight.

Larry Ovaltine Lark
 — larrylark

and, you're just pretending to be dead. read this poem and it will revive you. it's full of sp3rm.
 — joey

Hi unknown

Just one of my many aliases

Larry stiff Lark
 — larrylark

Elvis sperm has more wiggle in the middle...
 — unknown

had it been about elvis, mr. lark would have rocked us out. since it's, however, about an old lamer making amplified sounds, he's gone cute on us and literary and the algonquin meets at 3 and begins at 2, before the others show up.
 — joey

Dear unknown

Of course it had because he was all shook up

Larry love me tender Lark
 — unknown

Eggcellent!

always love reading under the layers with your work larry :)

~Mong~
 — Mongrol

Dear Mongrol

Beneath my work lurks the real Larry, a seething mass of fiddlesticks bedknobs and caraway seeds. You my friend are one of the few to which i give access to my inner shallows

Larry how deep is the ocean Lark
 — larrylark

ethel merman sang it well. but, it's not "how high is this guy", dude, it's "how much do i love you?, i'll tell you no lies..."

:)
 — joey

Larry the American story teller Lark - this is an awesome diatribe to a swollen nation and your Kentucky fried allusion is da best!
 — AlchemiA

typically, it's considered witty to point to the poem you're parodying, by parodying the title -- you've gone beyond that and simply borrowed the poem and put different words to it -- that's fine, because who likes old poem? but the fans have taken your poem away from you and aren't reading it as parody but as ha-ha, and now you're just living off the hog, on chicken. can you change this title and the headings now? it's no longer got anything to do with me and it's kind of embarrassing, because it's so much like i'm not here, but have to provide the music.
 — joey

Larry Touched A Nerve Lark
 — TCooks

Dear AlchemiA

sure could be my friend

larry multi man lark
 — larrylark

Hi TCooks

What can you possibly mean?

larry high wire lark
 — larrylark

a quick analysis so far:-

joey = old reactionary who doesn't really get anything anymore. Bathchair waiting time - 2 years tops.

larry = hip young groover a bit crinkly round the edges, hence poems about Elvis. Bathchair waiting time - do they do jet propelled bathchairs?
 — unknown

even my comments are too cryptic now eh?
 — TCooks

http://www.poet rycritical.net/read/42405/

see ya.
 — joey

Larry, you have to be the most prolific and creative writer here, taking all kinds of risks with so many different styles of poetry.

This is funny, sly and sad, all at the same time.  
 — Isabelle5

lariatte's big day at the hair salon. this is a working, a dressing of my "quartet" as one of those exploited children wearing make-up. it's not a very good read, except that its author has a goal, which is to make merry and prance, and that makes this a stronger read than the usual craft and hobby product. this is a slam on me personally, yes? ... am i not the chicken in this? ... and the Colonel has cooked my goose with batter. i suppose larry is the finest poet, the shakespeare of larry's, the king of appliances. i suppose i deserve this -- i'm very rude and arrogant -- and the poet of this must soon displace opal as the best poet in p.c.. my sympathies to varun.

that being said, i wonder... did the poet really mean to write like donald trump noodling between foreclosures? is that the goal, or is it a cynical move to work the crowd -- gain the poetbill vote? stroke the unknown mood? -- straights always like transvestite shows. i suspect lariat is just as surprised as anyone that this is getting so much attention. this is what people really want here -- things like "what the fuck did camus know" are obviously popular because if the "fuck" in the title. using "elvis" as the bait in "larry, take a bow" has made this a good poem.

it's so much fun expecting so much here. i'm having so much fun.
 — joey

wtf are you on about joey??? clearly this poem is about elvis
 — chuckle_s

check the title and how it goes into the chicken part, and see how "elvis" is an after thought. look at the relationship of this poem with the headings in "quartet". true, that it's inept, but this is an impressionist piece and works or fails on that theme. here, in poetry.prancing, this is accepted as fine writing, but it's not strong enough to be a parody, and parody isn't understood by this crowd. it's read as a poem on its own, and as that kind of poem which pleases small readers of pointed jabs and sloppy tears. my poem really was a way to transcend sloppy, and the parody would have been to use the color theme as something like, say, a tripping on "rainbow lifestyle" -- sexist, but probably funny. i'm serious about this, chuckles... i think somebody's been dicking around with my sacred revelations.
 — joey

poetbill gave it a 6 for creative fun...
 — poetbill

coincidence? i don't think so.
 — joey

oh, okay joey i can see what you mean now
i just couldn't understand why larrylark would bother i guess so that's why i never made the connection
there are always reasons for this type of thing and i am familiar with what they are so i'm not sure what to think about this at all now
 — chuckle_s

conspiracy. probably something to do with my passioned defense of the invasion and destruction of iraq in "chrome yellow".
 — joey

the poem clearly is about Elvis the chicken farmer having breakfast...
 — poetbill

ah... the controlled press speaks and spins.
 — joey

Hiya Joey

It looks like your bath chair awaits and there's no escape. You can borrow my slippers if you wish, for a nominal fee.
 — unknown

This poem is a hymn to every chicken farmer who never lived
 — unknown

Joey

The odds are stacked against you, so take your circulation pills ans smooth in your face lotion , while placing the hair net over your curls, and pray that tomorrow will be a better day for you.
 — unknown

this is pretty obviously a move by "george clooney is the last hollywood star"] to discredit "hillery won't accept V.P. nomination"

coincidence?? ask moscow.
 — joey

the author wears the Official Bear Skin Cap and bright red coat and stands patiently at the facade of the New Establishment while a tourist waves his arms and sticks his tongue out and does the chicken dance posing for photos.

i found this entire thing amusing and i still think it's about elvis
 — chuckle_s

now i thunk about it my "mee write poemz"
pretty defines this entire experience
i am pre-
tt-
y cognitive!
 — chuckle_s

if side effects persist discontinue use and consult your physician
 — chuckle_s

larrylark is funny
 — chuckle_s

To all my friends over the pond and here at home in little old Engerland may i take this opportunity to thank you for perspiring over this complex piece which took 30 seconds to dream up and 3 minutes to scribble down on the back of a bus ticket whilst travelling betwix and between Accrington and Ramsbottom. I showed it to my friend Joe Jogginass who said straight away that I had pulled it off again it was then i realised that in the frenzy of creativity I had ripped off my dressing gown and was stood only in a pair of T.S. Eliots old underpants which I found on some wasteland and signed by him and which i put over the top of my head before i will even consider putting pen to paper.

Larry warm brains Lark
 — larrylark

probably why only a certain kind of product from england is marketed in the UK.
 — joey

Hi chuckles

It seems obvious to me that some people are beyond medication

Larry physic Lark
 — larrylark

Hi Chuckles

You man who speak great truth

Larry Sitting Bull Lark
 — larrylark

ride it, cowboy.
 — joey

Is there a squaw on here or someone merely squawking
 — unknown

you the horse?
 — joey

dear mr. larko,
you are bloody insane.

bravo and i love you.
but it would never work, because i eat birds.
sorry.

=-)
 — jenakajoffer

Hi Jenakojoffer

The hen is a magnificent bird and its eggs have had a profound effect on my poetry.

Larry old clucker Lark
 — larrylark

i'm a chicken plucker
i'm a chicken plucker's son
and i'll be pluckin' chickens
til the pluckin' day is done
 — chuckle_s

I am a pheasant plucker,
also a pleasant fucker
and I do both jobs with
a smile upon my face.

Larry big cheese Lark
 — larrylark

just avoid being a pheasant phucker
 — poetbill

Hi POetbill

I spend my life avoiding many things

Larry the essence lark
 — larrylark

Don't forget folks... 'this crowd doesn't understand parody'.

Don'tcha just love a parody that parody's its own parody?




Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?



~Mong~
 — Mongrol

Hi Mongrol

Their is so much to take the piss out of in this crazy world that parody piles on parody on parody.

Larry laffing gas Lark
 — larrylark

blast from the past
all the fowl memories gassed
 — unknown

0.221s