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I think about, not for
MattPat

There is a
 1
Sorrow on the surface of
 2
Your eyes, and a distance
 3
in your voice like the
 4
Stars.
 5
Your love seems more
 6
like Charity, and when
 7
You sit, your attention
 8
,down cast, seems
 9
Pious. There is no
 10
age in your skin
 11
as though you are still
 12
being born!
 13
And when I speak with
 14
You, there is an emptiness
 15
In your words, and I am made
 16
      Happy and Sad by
 17
Your hidden silence.
 18
 
 
And I made you a
 19
Heartsong. I played it,
 20
and sang it in the morning
 21
when the breeze brought
 22
dew, and the mist was
 23
bright, and the birds
 24
sang too.
 25
 
 
And I made you a
 26
Poem. And your cheeks
 27
were roses, suddenly blooming;
 28
and trailing behind me
 29
were ten thousand peddles,
 30
each one representing a
 31
thought of you.
 32

2 Mar 08

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Comments:

this is very nice but "There is no age
in your skin..." doesn't seem to fit.
: )
 — fractalcore

it means both that there's an eternal beauty to this one but also an eternal freshness or naivete' of thought... it's up to the poet to show us which one we're to accept as true.
 — joey

that is quite what the sign says upfront -- the irony
carried over from ||1-18. that particular sentence,
however, carried more than just that effect and struck
me as an altogether different poem. i prolly meant
"stand out".
: )
 — fractalcore

xorry, i misread your comment. i do think the ambiguity is there as subtle, but the surface of this poem is so naturalistic that subtle is too subtle... that i'm seeing golden pond and not the urge to read the author as much as i usually do. it seems pretty straight forward "narration of a competent and thoughtful narrator" to me.
 — joey

Every time i make a comment, i never get any more comments...
 — MattPat

this is lovely
 — psychofemale

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