poetry critical

online poetry workshop

B&M Railroad Station, East Rochester NH--Circa 1900

"photography is an art of observation....I've found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them." ~ Elliot Erwitt

This is the one that captures my attention,
its hazy image standing out
like a model T amidst a group
of fancy Ferraris.
Perhaps it was rescued for display,
let's say, from an old scrapbook,
or box discovered on a cobwebbed shelf
in a dark corner of its closet coffin.
My eyes linger on the photograph  
until the haze sweeps away,
and I can peer down
the deep tunnel of time.
With clarity I witness the drift of smoke
from the stationhouse chimney,
the glint of sunlight
striking the steel trestle.
Heat of engine and hiss of steam
contradict the coolness of the day.
A whistle wails
announcing departure,
as travelers gather on the station platform,  
giddy with anticipation
to board the B&M for their
unforeseen passage to the future.

8 Mar 08

Rated 10 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 7, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(50 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


nicely done portrait
 — poetbill

light wraps around itself and gives spirit to the image. this is a picture of you looking, and we're along for the ride with you. inside, the car is angular and modernly furnished, and there are photos on the clerestory panels, images of lowell and worcester -- gaudy new century full of hope, like the bright faces inside the car, waiting for their each parade and picnic. inside the bag of one gentleman traveller, a man of high probity, are albums of images from that war of succession, images of struggle and flag; brought to show his uncle, the colonel, on the anniversary of the signing. the traveller is lost in thought -- his first facing of anger and bullet, and dear friends falling --and the clear spring light seems suddenly the light of angels washing the expectant travelers with a light of redemption, blinding and awakening, from out of such mundane passing heavens.
 — joey

Thanks for the comments guys.
 — PaulS

Yes, you just did.
 — PaulS

writing is the Art of observation inside and out - and here you've captured the out while the 2nd crit here captured the in - your eyes are open and you look and look and dare to see that you created reality --
 — AlchemiA

Thanks AlchemiA, I appreciate the crit.
 — PaulS

paul, just to explain -- i'm an art-photographer with an mfa and i've a b.a. in art history, including photography. i just live in these instances and know them and see them and see them again. your description disappointed me because i felt a poem didn't come out of it.
 — joey

Joey--no need to explain. Your crit showed how this poem could have been fleshed out and given substance--the reason I am here is not for accolades but to learn. Thanks.
 — PaulS

wow. i just read a poem about train... and it was beautiful. congratulations.
 — Anachocolata

Thanks for reading and for the comment, Anachocolata.
 — PaulS