poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Making Policy
PaulS

Five crows in the road,
 1
caucused over a carcass--
 2
dark politicians.
 3

19 Mar 08

Rated 8.5 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 10
Inactive (3): 7, 9, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(50 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

Oh, yes, I see this every day!!!
 — Isabelle5

improve last line...
 — poetbill

e.g.  "one politician"
 — poetbill

Now Poetbill, how can you improve that last line??  It's just right!
 — Isabelle5

Can you please keep the comment focused on the poem, not on me as a commenter?
 — Isabelle5

Five crows in the road,
caucused over a carcass-
politiburro
 — foundpoem

This is EXCELLENT!
 — starr

Thanks for the comments everyone, and yes Isabelle I like the last line also--I think I'll keep it. I wrote what I saw and felt at that moment.
 — PaulS

it's your pie...
 — poetbill

I do stand by my comment the last line could be much stronger
 — poetbill

could adjust the titlte but good
 — unknown

Thanks for the comment unknown--I'll think about your suggestion concerning the title.
 — PaulS

Interesting concept.  Shorter, stronger poems get to me more, because I can think about it later and it becomes a mantra.  Great job.  ;D
 — Aziel

0.218s