| two spaces
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varun
| to listen is right | 1 |
to read in light | 2 |
always akin to knowing | 3 |
how to judge distance | 4 |
between what is | 5 |
and what is said | 6 |
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30 Mar 08 |
Rated 8.8 (8.4) by 14 users.
Active (14): 5, 5, 7, 7, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (4): 1, 5, 9, 9, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(123 more poems by this author)
(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
It took me a couple of reads to get this. I'd reconsider your use of light. Very nice concept
— tiedtoes
beautiful, v. This calls to mind river rocks and skipping stones.
— banditfemme
what do you mean, tiedtoes? it has been.
thank you, banditfemme.
flat stones are best for skimming water.
and for skipping in boxes.
— varun
This does absolutely nothing for me...
how else do we read but in the light? Its a given. Maybe that is what tiedtoes meant.
— DeformedLion
To DL and TT, I'm thinking it's more of a symbolic light,
that means more than the visual energy often associated with.
Thats only in my opinion.
I like this. A lot.
Mind if I rate it? No?
Ok. 9.
— EpicPants
if points occupied space then the shortest
distance from point A to B is a crooked line.
nice peace, varun.
: )
— fractalcore
is = would be
or who cares?
: )
— fractalcore
DeformedLion
what do you want it to do for you? does this look like a silver platter?
your question made me if you really read this at all.
EpicPants, thank you for reading.
and fractalcore.
— varun
wonder*
— varun
Hi DL
I can recommend a good optician. Oh and by the way , how are your paws, did the micro surgery work or do you now have pretend ones?
Larry the great hands on pretender Lark
— larrylark
Dear Varun
You have highlighted a difficulty I always have when reading, that is , I believe most things I read even though what tiny amount of critical faculty I have screams at me otherwise. People are so convincing so that is why i stick to reading gossip mags and The Beano
Larry blotting paper Lark
— larrylark
Maybe I need a better understanding of method in relation to this type of work...
but, to me, this isn't a poem-- well not as far as I am concerned, it seems more a room filled with air and thought. Like someone painting a wall blue then calling it art. and i have read this many times, and maybe you are being too subtle or something...but it does in fact seem to me that this is the sort of comment you want.
validating your hypothesis.
— DeformedLion
you arrested my poem, larry. thank you for your comment.
DeformedLion-
that is the room you need to find yourself in. but
first you need to find the room. and before that,
you need to find room for it.
— varun
shapeshifter
i would recommend a night of copious nature.
— varun
is that where you've been learning to write such beautiful poetry
and mature comments?
— varun
nice. the last two lines really add depth to the already deep poem ... at first i read it as, judge distance between what is said ... it is just the way i read it, i think that adds to the theme of not paying attention to what has been set as declarative ...
good move.
— listen
interesting point. thanks listen.
— varun
a nice little inner-ear balancing act.
depth perception is greatly reduced when one eye is closed.
nice poem
— chuckle_s
or both.
thanks chuckles.
— varun
a cautionary tale for a number of crits on PC.
almost no...perfect.
— mitchl
i guess its all about perspective but i read this and i think your saying that there is a difference between a rummer and the truth, or maybe its saying its one thing to say your ok and another to be ok... something like that? i could be nuts but either way i love this poem. :-)
— brokenarrows
forgot to say that this piece inspired the title of my poem
@ http://poetrycritic al.net/read/47348/.
thanks, varun.
: )
— fractalcore
Lose the first two lines, they're forced. Otherwise the rest of the lines intimate a story, but there is no resolution... Maybe the start of a new post ?
— shaunsout
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