A blind minutiae
dances in careless abandon
along a hair.
He’s been combed out of bed,
landed from his comfortable lair,
fish out of water,
forced to parade outside the shade,
in bold sunshine where he slows,
half way comatose, while previous life is sought.
Realisation then strikes, been extracted
like a growth beneath the surgeons knife.
Tries to pretend its not come to an end,
this intrepid tight rope walker
balances, stalks along one jettisoned strand,
as he's tossed into the bin,
his fine and glossy lifeline lost.
Paid the price for each and every bite,
searches for sustenance among today’s debris,
choking as he tries to flea.
13 Apr 08
Rated 8.5 (8) by 14 users.
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ha ha. i had lice when i was nine, they were the size of rats.
Some of the clearest, tightest writing i've seen on this site. You should be proud.
funny. and great poem
this intrepid tight rope walker, if it's meant literally, altho a great expression, may not be accurate, since their small world is just as big as ours, on another scale.
loved it, turns to human condition in the end.
if jooshcops says you should be proud, hey, who are we to argue?
or is that cooshjops or .... never mind...... his pomes are really really
Head lice are the fastest expanding species currently on the planet as they have found a way to modify their genetic blue print so that they can feed off wigs and hair pieces.
Larry licensed to kill Lark
Never proud, just trying to get on with writing the next one
Larry busy as a busy bee Lark
i had lice, too, when i was small,
Larry excellent work as usual Lark.
larry you've a singular style and wit writ within it -- the end is a wondrous play and the imginitive nit picking is hilarious --
I once shared an apartment with a rat who thought he was a head lice as he always liked being out in fresh air.
Larry lame jokes lark
it's surgeon's knife and not like you wrote it... and "it's" on line and not...
Apart from that, i like the idea of a poem...
I'm so pleased this little ditty amused you. Round my neck of the woods we are under constant threat from the pesky little creatures.
Larry itchin' an' bitchin' lark
You remind me of the modern day Ogden Nash without all that constant forced rhyming. The end line is your typical crazy sense of humor and it shines right through. I love your poetry, Larry I wonder what shampoo he's using Lark. I love YOU too! :-)
Larry, thank you so much for making me laugh. it does indeed pick up at the end with the brilliant line sixteen, and good usage of flea ...
you had lulled me so peacefully in the first stanza, and i think that calmness helped the humor stand out even more.
i love the humor. perhaps that may ironically not sound lovely, as there is no use in repeating oneself when the obvious has already been said,
but. this is a great piece. your words are so pleasant and perfect. that is hard to do. eh, not for you, but ... well ...
oh, and i forgot to point out the effectiveness of those little twe ak s. they didn't put a gap in the quality of the poem at all.
you know what i'm talking about, of course; please keep doing that. it is ever so grand, and that ain't sarcastic.
I also had small lice when i was big.
Larry large Lark
I remind myself of Graham Nash the high pitched crooner with The Hollies and Crosby Still et al espec. when I'm in the bath and squeezing my testicles to reach the high notes
Larry golden balls Lark
funny as hell (the flea)!
I hate lice.
Great, now I'm itchy!
Love the play on words with "fleas". Nicely done.
It's a bit dull really...
Of course its dull to have head lice but they love shiny hair, sliding down as if they were on a helter skelter. Feel free to give me as many 1's as you please and never mistake me for a guy who gives a fuck
Larry keeper of small pets Lark
tries to "flea"... FUNNY! Good one!
wrong lain lice goes where with chickie bars
Geez, you're a good writer, Larry. Great stuff. Thanks.
pubic lice are much more resilient
Imwouldn't know as i steer a path far far away from other peoples naughty bits
Larry fastideous Lark
clever ending :)
The pun made me groan, but hey, you've always been the fake cigar and rubber nose guy around here, the way I figure.
I can't exactly put my finger on why, maybe it's too minute, but "while previous life is sought" bothers me. It feels out of touch.
Good stuff, though.
I think you are right. I will fondle my fake cigar and smoke my rubber nose while contemplating the changes you suggest. Thanks again for your close observations
Larry the spy in the corner hiding behind a woodbine and half a pint of mild Lark
I love the ending, and i love the break.
a little over-stylized, not really tight enough to be good light verse -- sort of comes off as drama, but melodramatic, but a parody of Wagner, maybe. what would be wonderful is to know the lice digging into your head, biting into your brain, and seeing your brain from your seeing the lice's point of view -- that's a kind of new Czech move from the beginning of the 20th century, but it always comes off as bright -- it removes the dialog from 'me feel' and takes it into 'nothing makes sense but allegory anymore', and, depending on the word-moves of the poet, can brighten the reader's mind out of the desperation of being owned by an aristocracy... if you know what i mean. the aristocracy here is some kind of Dryden Mechanics, where it's as though someone expects that a poem like this has to be written in a wordy and self-indulgent style -- they do, for Dryden, but he had more word tools than we -- he could address a really literate reader and not have to make everything comprehensible to everyone.
i'll give a ten, so that this stays up high on the top, but it's really only a 5 work, to my mind. i think with hard core editing, where you looked for the real idea behind this, you could find a poem here, and, certainly, with your talent, could write it out.
Thank you for your brilliance
Larry my eyes are dim Lark
Is it not? Well I'll be a cayote dog howlin' at the prairie moon.
Larry wuff wuff Lark
You sure you want rhymes? Parade/shade? The poem is an upbeat thing, the rhyme took me out of the flow. Plus if he slows he won't parade. Halfway is one word? realization strikes, extracted--need one less fancy word as a replacement
tightrope--if intentional spacing wordplay is a no no because you write in narrative, it's like using a pun in conversation
why jetitisoned, cut cut
for each bite
shit man flea pun no no, thats for soccer moms
Larry, I love your sense of humor, including even the smallest and most mundane of creatures! The last line stops the reader for a moment, very creative.
Larry itchin' and bitchin' Lark!!!! Does Opal laugh in her sleep? You are one funny man!
This is a rather disgusting topic for poetry don't you think? Why mix nasties such as lice with poetry?
acyually I'm an itchy bitchy sort of guy
Larry the scratch Lark
Hey oh holy reverend, with a name like yours you should love all creatures great and small
larry I write as i find Lark
My goodness, that's an awful joke as the last line. Made me laugh.
whoooo,,,,you are awful but Larry loves you
Larry flea in his ear Lark
I like the build up to the last line-
nICE lee dunn
why do you hate classic verse?
ignore poodle. he is a cunt.
but, a cunt who knows poetry and can write about it.
wrong. you're just a cunt, who knows fuck all.
The pun at the end made me chuckle. The alliteration is wonderful.
HA! ok this is great. a poem on lice. who woulda thunk it.
Larry flees the scene
Larry small bite Lark
trumping donald . . . trump
My name is Nechamah
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