poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Birthing a Poem Beyond their Reach
Isabelle5

Fear not; it is the dogs,
 1
feeding on the wood pile,
 2
swallowing shards
 3
to see this world
 4
through vicious eyes -
 5
self-incensed, they howl
 6
at innocence and grace,
 7
mistaking helping hands
 8
for bitter harness.
 9
 
 
A white witch is busy
 10
at poetic warp and weft,  
 11
listening to the snarls die
 12
upon her rue-strewn path.
 13
 
 
The child she is weaving smiles,
 14
dressed in lawn and lace;
 15
peace - her dreams,
 16
joy - her face.
 17

15 May 08

Rated 10 (8.5) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10
Inactive (9): 5, 6, 6, 6, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(503 more poems by this author)

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Comments:

nice poem
 — chuckle_s

Really nice. "dressed in lawn and lace" is mesmerizing, as is the rest of the nuanced alliteration.
 — VeroniCat

This is a great poem filled with wonderful metaphors.  The last stanza is one if the best I've seen here.
 — PaulS

Right on!  Very nice use of language, breath control and metaphor.  
 — starr

very nice.

but fear is necessary to survival.
actually a requirement, yes?

: )
 — fractalcore

Of course some fears are good but to fear 'the hounds' who wish to rip your poem apart, based on nothing but their own anger or inadequacies is something to simply be shushed.  They die at the door of truth and the ability of the poet to tell the tale, rue here as the herb that is a deterrent to pests and rue as the verb.  

If you are a poet, you should know your work very well, you must be able to defend it completely but never fear those who only say they don't like it, without a real reason beyond their ego and ignorance.  
 — Isabelle5

ahh -- well crafted with meataphors for the Dogs and the wily similes for the Poet/Witch -- the flow is easy and the end strophe is sublime -- this is writ with tender wit and eyes that see reality
 — AlchemiA

lovliness in words!
 — jenakajoffer

WOOF!
 — starr

Some dogs just can't learn new tricks. I admit, I sometimes have difficulty fetching. Enough dog cliches, I will now roll over and play dead. Nice one Is!
 — grneyeddevil

this one - i really like ; and i've read quite a lot of your poems... bowing low...
 — greenmantle

Oh, don't you dare bow low to me!  I'm just another writer who now and then lucks into some good phrases!  Thank you, though.
 — Isabelle5

for those able to read something valuable...
 — greenmantle

for evil pete's sake.
 — unknown

nice -- a dark sonnet made with sound and fury
 — AlchemiA

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