| EAT SEAMS DUH CASE
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fractalcore
| seasons' | 1 |
fame fluctuates | 2 |
in rainbow hues | 3 |
and coaled fire, | 4 |
dancing atoms | 5 |
to wild thrills | 6 |
as they trip | 7 |
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overweight -- | 8 |
| |
night too nigh | 9 |
to naught. | 10 |
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written 06/01/08
after the now-defunct poem
@ http://poetrycritical.net/read/47647/
thanks, Tosty. |
20 Jun 08 |
Rated 8.4 (8.4) by 12 users.
Active (12): 1, 3, 4, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (0):
(define the words in this poem)
(66 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
lovely imagery and word play
— nisetru
thanks for reading and the kind words, nisetru.
any new poems from you?
: )
— fractalcore
thanks for that, mod.
also for the unknown who said something
quite beautiful.
: )
— fractalcore
no good
— unknown
well, my dear unky, show me how to write better.
show me your username first.
thanks for stopping by.
: )
— fractalcore
This section is called comments, not requests.
— unknown
seasoned failure
burns
in crimson hues
and coated tums,
no comfort
to a stomache
as it turns
overweight --
McDonald's to Wendy's
large fries.
— unknown
requests is the non-verbal prerequisite to critiques and you
should be able to justify your comment if you can't crit.
thunks again.
: )
— fractalcore
My poem is my justification.
You owe me some tums.
— unknown
dear fractal. what is "rainbow hues" doing in the same poem with
night too nigh
to naught.
so maybe i can't tell when you are being colorful or monochromatic
— unknown
ok, that's a pretty nice version. too bad you can't
see Tosty's poem.
or are you Tosty in disguise?
i toast my six-six-sixth cup of tea to you.
: )
— fractalcore
nope, just a new user who stumbled on your poem and didn't like it.
— unknown
hmm, i don't like myself that much either.
is this the only one you've nibbled on and
puked out?
here's a bad advise: read more in the list.
seriously, you should.
and welcome to PC, btw.
this piece is not meant to please the reader
and i suppose it was a no-sweat read to you
till S3. fire owes its being to coal here or to the
absence of color, and fire is the burning desire
of Being to commune with naught.
: )
— fractalcore
hmm, i don't like myself that much either.
is this the only one you've nibbled on and
puked out?
here's a bad adviCe: read more in the list.
seriously, you should.
and welcome to PC, btw.
this piece is not meant to please the reader
and i suppose it was a no-sweat read to you
till S3. fire owes its being to coal here or to the
absence of color, and fire is the burning desire
of Being to commune with naught.
: )
— fractalcore
on the other hand, it's impossible not to eat at all, maybe eat a little and natural food full of vitamins and minerals, for the cells not to choke, grow old and die too soon would be a case
— nisetru
hi, nisetru.
of course, it's impossible not to eat but even the atoms,
no matter how minute, can be as heavy as a black
hole. it is in the event of a black hole that it has
become very gluttonous and seemingly dead.
thanks for the comeback.
: )
— fractalcore
Ah, yes. This is very good. great imagery.
— PaulS
thanks, PaulS.
: )
— fractalcore
|2, "fluctuates" shouldn't be capitalized.
|7, change "trip" to "tip" ... it just seems like a more appropriate word
|8, "overwrought?" blah.
|9,10, any particular reason for the alliteration?
— Virgil
fractalcore
i can't believe you get into discussion with -unknowns- you know perfectly well it leads to nowhere!
atoms love to dance.
— raskolniikov
Virgil, thanks for stopping by.
you have very "dull" eyes and a very bright mind.
shouldn't that letter "n" in your moniker be an "L"?
thanks again, dued.
: )
— fractalcore
ahh yes the Dance of naught or whirling nothing is ever-thin -- the beauty of impermanence - AlchemiA reborn as AphroDite
— AphroDite
hi, rask, been a while. how's you?
most unknowns are ok and i don't really have a big problem
with them. yeah, atoms love to dance and binge on food, too.
look at them trip on the dance floor, hehe.
: )
— fractalcore
ey there, AlchemiA aka AphroDite.
yes, the beauty of impermanence and
permanent recycling of the same thing.
: )
— fractalcore
In Q theories it's kinda like they fit ideas and speculations to mathematical algorithms like looking for a way through the senses for that which cannot be described by sense based metaphor -- like how do you describe the theory of something coming from nothing? It is a sense based limitation that Mystic's and Poets (same thing) have been trying to approach within the sense based limitations of language. Thus the need to see with kalisEyes and break up the forms and rituals of tunnel vision dualities implicit in language symbol and metaphor. The Higgs/Boson construct which they are trying to prove is the Scientific equivalent of that nothing which is the Mother of God. The amorphousness of what is you and I at the level of Poetic expression comes close to this implicit realization -- a Poem becomes a Garden of Hearts where you and I are distinctions that no longer apply -- like Lovers wrestling as one under the Moon and under the Sun -- like that kiss -- to kiss the beloved with the same kiss the beloved kisses me and in that kiss is an eternity -- that convergence of Time and Space as Now and Here brought together: nowhere -- A Poem can be like that (like this pome/song ) -- the Poet is an 11 dimensional channel painting a picture in words of the greater realities all around -- it is the reality behind the CornuCopia
— AphroDite
pretty wild contrast between the title and the narrator's voice, but that is trademark FC, or sew it wood seam. For some reason, this brings to mind Procol Harum's Whiter Shade of Pale, especially the first two lines:
We skipped the light fandango
turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
but the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
the waiter brought a tray
And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
that her face, at first just ghostly,
turned a whiter shade of pale
— banditfemme
thanks for that lofty comeback, AlchemiA.
you got it down to a tee again.
: )
— fractalcore
and banditfemme, such a great pleasure.
been a while since i last sang that song on karaoke.
so you love to sing? well, who doesn't?
thanks for the kind words.
: )
— fractalcore
chao ji bai kanasai
— unknown
chao ji bai kansai?
is that new world language?
: )
— fractalcore
i try to come here once a day to read a few new poems but lately work has been taking priority. other than that i am well, thank you for asking.
— raskolniikov
good to know you're fine, rask.
thanks for always stopping by.
: )
— fractalcore
good poem
— stout
thanks for your kindness, stout.
: )
— fractalcore
!
— unknown
seems you are quite different
have to get a look inside to see the symmetry...
i am enjoying you
that is a fract.......
Lily
— Liliana
Well balanced
— larrylark
hi, Liliana.
i enjoy myself, too, at times.
mostly, i enjoy myaself, too.
otherwise, i hate myself all the way.
thanks for having a closer look.
: )
— fractalcore
mr. larry tightrope artist lark,
thank you, sir.
: )
— fractalcore
I use English correctly, when you impersonate me - you don't. I hate that.
— unknown
It's not poetry, it's an infringement of human rights.
— unknown
— unknown
last unk,
your copy-paste ability is amusing.
thanks for stopping by though.
: )
— fractalcore
where eees the newl poe ate tree
i wanted to comment
.... was math-e-magical
Lily
— Liliana
thanks, Lily.
i just made it visible and available to you.
: )
— fractalcore
Why don't you get a book out on English grammar? I write English correctly, you don't.
— unknown
Dear corrupt moderator, why don't you delete all of FRACTALCORE's poems?
- unknown
— unknown
hey, unky.
how are you today, man?
aren 't you supposed to be whining about
the poems in my fave list? they're eating up
space but are pieces i've learned a lot from
as i am learning a lot from your wording.
: )
— fractalcore
i like how fame fluctuates makes fame read like flame ... nice idea. fits the poem and your style.
— listen
thank you so much, listen.
i miss reading your works.
will catch up with you later.
: )
— fractalcore
can we ever learn from your writing? you never show it. irritating rip offs that aggravate learning disabilities and cripple confidence. if i were you I'd feel ashamed.
— unknown
hi, unky.
i really do think this has a lot to offer -- two, sometimes three or
more, for the price of one. but the failure in getting the point
across is entirely my fault and i contradict myself very often.
i deserve to die, unky.
kill me.
: )
— fractalcore
really pathetic comment, have I ever given you permission to call me unky or use my poetry? your inverted death threats are sick, you are sick.
— unknown
you're too thick to ever understand the meaning or point to words, you just vomit them back up and apply some sicko child molester meaning that was never there. I really hate you. you're an obscenity.
— unknown
Very strong words unknown^^
I do get the feeling that you are taking your attacks on fc a little bit too personal.
"sicko child molester meaning"
"your inverted death threats are sick, you are sick"
"I really hate you. you're an obscenity."
"you are sick."
Very personal attacks. If you don't like his poetry just avoid reading it. What you are doing on the other hand is harassment.
— unknown
What YOU are doing is harassment. My comments merely state the truth.
— unknown
You can say the truth without sounding offensive.
— unknown
Suppose I wrote lies about you, stole your work, issued death threats to you and your family and then tried to make out that YOU were a murderer? YOU'RE SICK FASCISTS.
— unknown
I don't sound offensive. If I sound pissed off, that's because I am.
— unknown
" YOU'RE SICK FASCISTS."
None of the previous poets, whose work he uses , seemed to mind. I don't think if any of the poets told him to stop, he'd keep using their stuff.
— unknown
Whole threads dedicated to people minding, did you miss them? Lies.
— unknown
.. probably deleted them. soooooooooooooooo corrupt.
— unknown
"really pathetic comment, have I ever given you permission to call me unky or use my poetry? your inverted death threats are sick, you are sick.
— unknown
you're too thick to ever understand the meaning or point to words, you just vomit them back up and apply some sicko child molester meaning that was never there. I really hate you. you're an obscenity.
— unknown"
ok, "whatever-you-call-yourself" dued/dued-it.
is that all you're getting from the piece? you're very grotesquely
imaginative and i like that. we need people like you here.
thanks for always taking the time.
; )
— fractalcore
"Very strong words unknown^^
I do get the feeling that you are taking your attacks on fc a little bit too personal.
"sicko child molester meaning"
"your inverted death threats are sick, you are sick"
"I really hate you. you're an obscenity."
"you are sick."
Very personal attacks. If you don't like his poetry just avoid reading it. What you are doing on the other hand is harassment.
— unknown"
other unknown,
a very kind gesture, thank you, and rather pacifist than fascist.
we expect this kind of reaction from that certain type of person and
that's the it is here and that's the way some people are and this is
the way i am and i never intend to offend.
i really appreciate your dealing with it.
: )
— fractalcore
Poison. I'll pray for you both.
— unknown
write an antidote in a poem, why don't you.
c'mon, man. there's that yearning in you
waiting to be released and get heard/read.
in a poem, that is.
: )
— fractalcore
No thanks unknown who wants to "pray" for me, I'd prefer talking straight to god myself without having a biased hypocrite do my talking for me. Besides coming from you I don't think he'll help me that much, he'll probably send you a little gift though-
some more poison to test your faith.
— unknown
we're all free to think/do what we want within [or without] certain limits;
it's a learning curve all the way.
: )
— fractalcore
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