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A Day In The Life Of A Vet.
larrylark

32nd of May 2008
 1
 
 
9.30-Mrs Briony’s bulldog,
 2
To stitch back part severed leg.
 3
Neighbor’s false teeth still attached.
 4
Reported to R.S.P.C.A.
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Criminal proceedings to match
 6
severity of crime
 7
 
 
10.10-Mrs. Bellomine’s headless peacock
 8
making good progress after having false eye
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(Incorp. Radar Vision Field) implanted in its rear
 10
by Larry Macateer (Trainee student in Micro surgical
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appliances, false feathers, beaks and flea extraction)
 12
 
 
11.05-Miss Mystique’s pet python in for tattoo
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on end of tail and to seal leaky appendage.
 14
 
 
12.00-Half crazed python escaped, causing carnage
 15
among Mrs. Blowers feather boa (uninsured)
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and then swallowing her pet mouse (no known cure)
 17
 
 
12.30-Two dead budgerigars stiffened
 18
and stapled back on perch.
 19
 
 
12.45-Large female lurcher castrated,
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owner not informed.
 21
 
 
1.00-Lunch-Meat balls with gravy
 22
 
 
2.45-Two stuffed monkeys
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and a taxidermy’d sheep in for
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brush up and shine.
 25
 
 
4.00-Visit (if fine) to the gorilla farm
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to observe mating of Doris and Dudley,
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and then check their apes are all A OK.
 28
 
 
Poem fades away to the theme from
 29
All Creatures Great And Small
 30

All Creatures Great And Small-A classic auto erotically charged TV drama series set in the village of Pigsbottom where veterinary practitioners do unspeakable things to animals rear ends and are chased up and down the Yorkshire Dales by half crazed hill farmers.

R.S.P.C.A = Right Shit People Come Around

21 Jun 08

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Comments:

love this poem, i find it both tragic and hilarious
i love vets and animals
i also like the idea with the hours of the appointments at beginning of each stanza
 — nisetru

Hi nisetru

I find that life is tragically hilarious, hate all animals save for cats, don't know any vets, keep strict hours and am very good at dancing the stanza.

Larry I like wot i know and i know wot i like Lark
 — unknown

This had me (pardon the pun) in stitches.  a great write Mr. Lark.
 — PaulS

9.11-a format fitting of a gorilla
farm to eat for life
and corn shall be your friend.
 — unknown

Dear PaulS

I once dressed up as a hamster and booked myself in to have my genetalia removed by our local vet as i had an impregnation problem with the local wild life of the female variety but i couldn't squeeze into the cage and broke the wheel

Larry Hammy Lark
 — larrylark

Hi Unknown

I love corn and write it all the time

Larry amaizing lark
 — larrylark

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