| A-POLITICAL POEM
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section4
| Pupils dilate as I explain | 1 |
the basic fund;us-mentals | 2 |
of all that's wrong with | 3 |
zig-zag breach of people's | 4 |
hap(pee)-hazard tracks of | 5 |
life as your foot moment- | 6 |
(eh,really?) becomes | 7 |
mine...overstepping is | 8 |
becoming a habit. | 9 |
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Canada intervenes | 10 |
in speech patterns | 11 |
and eyebrows are | 12 |
fixed-up from too | 13 |
much caring as | 14 |
my finger (tires) and | 15 |
curves to the left.... | 16 |
the right already | 17 |
taken by those | 18 |
with trigger fingers | 19 |
and rum-an'-toils | 20 |
disease; | 21 |
never have time | 22 |
for the even-ending | 23 |
news. | 24 |
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They come and go; | 25 |
brushing epithelials | 26 |
as our DNA mixes sans-sex | 27 |
and changes my life | 28 |
unexpectedly as you go | 29 |
about yours- | 30 |
At least look at me | 31 |
when we (h)ump. | 32 |
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I wonder if I shall ever | 33 |
bump dis-located shoulders | 34 |
with those who've violated | 35 |
my life as much as yours; | 36 |
body (guards) hard | 37 |
to penetrate when | 38 |
wheel chairs and cameras | 39 |
aren't on stand-by. | 40 |
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25 Jun 08 |
Rated 9 (9) by 8 users.
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Comments:
hmm, you're getting better with your craft, section4.
keep it up.
: )
— fractalcore
er et yer kreft.
: )
— fractalcore
Thanks fc, appreciate the compliment.
getting there.
-)
— section4
I don't understand the current poems with the words split out. Is that a new trend in poetry? It's extremely distracting!
— Isabelle5
I think you should give this one a second try Isabelle5. It's filled with double meanings for added effect. for example in the first stanza;
fund; us-mentals........could be read as fundamentals and at the same time could refer to me trying to find some explanation for how can anyone fund the mentally challenged plans of certain world leaders.
Again Hap-pee hazard.......has 3 meanings, the obvious haphazard which is the why most people live their lives...........happy hazard; how one person's pleasure is another person's pain and pee hazard; which is how some people piss on each other when they cross paths, which seems to be happening alot in this dog eat dog world.
So give it another try. Please. -)
— section4
spelling error.......way instead of why.
— section4
Yep, it's good. It's good.
— OKcomputer
yep, i said so, didn't i?
how's things, OKcomputer?
: )
— fractalcore
But don't apologize or speak for your poetry, ^(as seen above) its tacky. You're not tacky. It's tacky.
You, I like you. Your craft, I like your craft. Do you like your craft? Do you understand your craft? Then don't stoop to clarify your actions. You've done nothing wrong in the first place.
Play it fucking loud!
— OKcomputer
no, section4 is not tacky.
: )
— fractalcore
Interesting if somewhat obscure and convoluted take on the nut cases who ruin the world. I liked the word play.
Larry
— larrylark
Ta(n)ck-y-(4)-u fc, Okcomputer and Larrylark.
I'm glad you liked the poem. This will probably be the last time I write one of those ^ things for a while. No apologies for ^ though. I've done nothing wrong. ;-)
— section4
The problem I have isn't that I can't read it and understand what it says. It's the entire sense of the formatting. Okay, it's just not the way I think and see things but I'm trying to be a little more lenient in my own opinion of poetry.
You would only be able to share this as page poetry, not verbal, obviously.
By the way, there is nothing wrong with a reader asking and nothing wrong with a poet responding. To be asked is recognition and willingness to understand. To clarify is only basic hospitality. I, personally, am never annoyed to have to explain my poems, as it's nice to be asked what was in my head as I wrote.
imc
— Isabelle5
yes, you're right in assuming that this poem might be a little difficult to pull off in a poetry read out session but I can always give my listeners a written copy of the poem so that they can "get" all the word play. ;-)
— section4
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