I guess I get it, but I just don't like the style, there is no reason not to capitolize or make complete sentences aside from assaulting my sense of rhythm, I guess.
Uproot yourself. Leave.
Do not look back again.
and dangle, useless (now)
for the few things that you and I have left remaining.
It feels like months here,
when you move. (?) We argue colors,
sift through photograbps
like seasons (what are you getting at here?)
to find a mood
or reason. (reason-season rhyme is pretty rough)
I feel like years ago, hushed and quiet; (verb?)
the mention of an echo (verb?) — technomancer
i'm touched. i love the rhythm; to me it imitates what life experience is like-stop and start and unpredictable vs. the memories of your life (much smoother). — Xiada
reminds me of something by Derek Walcott - but none the worse for that. Like the sure touch with shape and pace - like the symbolic bed springs - how original is that? You capture something about feeling like this that is so hard to capture. — opal
I love this poem. Pure and simple. There is not a line in here that does not belong. It was obviously well thought out and planned. I also think you did well to use a lowercase I. It kind of diminishes yourself making you really seem like the echo. — dreamingstar
Glad it's you at one again. The last few did not belong there. — unknown