| swimming with unicorns
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unknown
| the kenyans will win marathons | 1 |
the yellow lines in parking lots will be repainted | 2 |
the bright eyed infantry will | 3 |
take night classes to get their mbas | 4 |
and become six sigma black belts | 5 |
limbs will be severed in industrial accidents | 6 |
foster children will be | 7 |
raped in rooms full of potpourri and stuffed animals | 8 |
pelicans will drown in oil spills | 9 |
midgets will commit suicide amidst confetti | 10 |
but the shelves will always be stocked with marshmallows | 11 |
and chances are | 12 |
you will float through this life | 13 |
untested | 14 |
like a pink moon. | 15 |
| 27 Jun 08 |
Rated 8.9 (8.9) by 14 users.
Active (14): 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10 Inactive (1): 4, 4, 6, 10 (define the words in this poem)
(9 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
lovely
and sad ending
but so beautiful
i like the use of but in l11, like after all those major usual to be expected events, something even greater would happen always. inspired title too. — nisetru
are we talking about the urge to eat to our hearts' content here?
what a strange way to put those last 5 lines as a redeeming
factor though very much a sad reality in itself.
delicious writing.
: ) — fractalcore
I think most poeple are desensitised to the terrible things that are done in the name of humanity. The imagary is both surreal and strong
Larry — larrylark
This is so sad and so beautiful. It struck many chords for me and I love it. If I could rate higher than a "10," this would be a "20." :-) — starr
it's not as easy a read as it first appears, though truth rarely is...
.. you word what i have thought with no sugar coatings, and i love it.
and i echo Larrys sentiments... wonderful piece of writing.
~ Mong — Mongrol
everyone,
thanks for taking a look at this.
justin h. — unknown
I wish that you could not write an "opposite" poem, about the children cherished in their beds at night, the midgets who become sit-com stars and live to be old, the Pelicans who did not drown, limbs that are saved.
There is nothing wrong with marshmallows, as long as we hold the bag open for others to take as they need.
I'm tired of the dark side, you have to stand and see the dawn break now and then before you die of loneliness of the soul. — Isabelle5
not amused. — unknown
Sorry, in my comment, I meant NOW write, not "not." Got that? haha — Isabelle5
contrast is the tool of the trade with Poets as they've surveyed the range of Human dualities and possibilities -- this pome uses contrast in fullness of the barren Truth that misery remains aggregious and is not a secret nor is it pampered with New Age empty platitudes which are well dressed lies -- writeous pome! a 10 -- AlchemiA -- — AphroDite
I'm sorry but isn't this just pompous - what is it with midgets and suicide? what a terrible image to throw at the feet of midgets, if you're short you'll be more inclined to commit suicide. But how unbelieveably arrogant to address me the reader as never being tested because i haven't been raped, lost a limb or attempted to kill myself - the tests we have to overcome in life are far more subtle and numerous than this parade of progressively more dire images. I don't know, i just didn't like it - far to heavy handed.
why is a pink moon untested? — unknown
Poetry isn't something you know about obviously unknown. — unknown
List poems tend to bog down somewhere along the line, but this one is a delicious exception. Everything threads together wonderfully. The title is fabulous--in all, a very strong and powerful poem. — PaulS
I am a happier poem that I have read this poem!! ! — 6Spade
'kenyans' should have a capital letter to begin it with. Apart from that, I like the poem, except that it doesn't make any sense to me. I suppose it's quite pretty, in a way- althought somewhat gory and sad. — Linnac
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