poetry critical : poem

Jiggle

I have a beer belly. Not just a ponch,	1
this sucker hangs over my belt.	2

But, I didn't acquire it from alchohol,	3
I haven't drank in twenty seven years.	4

This came from food. Cheeseburgers,	5
breakfast burritos, and french fries.	6

And, sweets. Nothing better than sitting	7
in front of the T.V. or, right here at	8
the computer and, munching candy, cakes, etc.	9

I love them! But, that extra weight is trying.	10
It causes me some rough problems. My heart is	11
working so hard that I become breathless.	12

It is so unattractive. I follow it everywhere,	13
because it sticks out in front of me.	14

I have to feed it, and it is always hungry.	15
But, lately I give it rabbit food, and cottage cheese.	16

It growls at me constantly, but, I have lost weight.	17
My belt buckle doesn't dig so deep into my skin.	18

I don't feel so winded, and work is easier. So, I	19
do feel better. But, celery, carrots? Ugh!	20

If everything goes right, maybe I'll be able to	21
return to my favorite pastime. Sex. Hope so.	22

It's been so long since I felt that release.	23
And, maybe, just maybe, I'll live a little longer.	24

Still, it is like an old friend. I don't know if I	25
will miss it, but, when I can see my toes again, I'll	26
think of it, and all the times we had.	27

4 Jul 08

Rated 7 (7) by 6 users.

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fractalcore

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Comments:

prose. odd in a funny kind of way.
— unknown

Yes, prose.
— jkhutchings

lame duck
— SeanConnery

Lame? Like your name Sean?
— jkhutchings

lame piggy maybe.
— DeformedLion

i like his.. anger attitude towards vegetables, rabbit food, hopefully he will grow to love em, and never become fat again.
i like the story.
— nisetru

this is a nice prose poem about a belly. its touching and funny and simply okay. i will write something about my smelly feet someday, when its not smelly.
— RonRon

Being one fat bastard myself i would not be able to ID my feet if someone showed me a photo of them. Well conceived prose poem.

Larry burger Queen Lark
— larrylark

I hear ya. 5-10 minutes of cardio per day is supposed to be good for losing the extra poundage. Cute poem though. Y'might wanna put that rabbit food inside a garlic or tomato wrap. Might make it taste better. Good luck!
— starr

yeah, in a disconnected sort of way. Yes its meeee too, but I'd never be that matter of fact. There are more important things than my obesity. IF its that important, lose weight!
— shaunsout

Thanks for all your comments. This is supposed to be a humorous piece. About smelly feet, why not?
— jkhutchings

CHUNKS END HIGH MIST-TEAR LARRY CIRCUIT BYPASS LARK
fractalcore

we either
neglect or
ignore the
signs

often do
we neither
notice nor see

circles are
triangles
really

no sides taken
nor areas squared
cubed much less

only solid
flat out repetitious
angles
and curves

bipolar infinitely singular
problem[']s solved

real members
equal[s]
undefined you
plush or less
meme

witten 07/05/08
http://poetrycritic al.net/read/48857/
thanks and hi, mister larry circuit bypass lark.
: )
— fractalcore

oops, sorry about that, jkhutchings.

i think i just ate the wrong food in the wrong
movie theater. you see i have this huge belly
in front of me myself (and, er, larry?) i couldn't
see where my feat, er feet, were taking me.

but very good peas, er piece, you got here.
; )
— fractalcore

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