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5.30 Wind
larrylark

Feelings seem to drag hours through wind.
 1
Dusk blusters across a clearing
 2
where something fizzles,
 3
whizzing round like white lightening in a tin.
 4
Heat congeals on a musty scent of fading flowers.
 5
 
 
5.30 almost succumbs,its lumbering parts expire
 6
in a day become tired. The wind seems to list,
 7
loosening into a breeze, then settles.
 8
 
 
Air stills, space between trees eases back,
 9
choking on raw emotion.
 10

10 Jul 08

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Comments:

Nice. Tightly wound around the scene, words act the part, in its conveyance we almost suffocate.  

L9, i think, needs fixing.
 — DeformedLion

Thanks DL

Can't stop. Off to work while winding down through the breeze of life. I'll consider your suggestion but Opal will probably make me change it anyhow.

Larry Beaufort Scale lark
 — larrylark

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