poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Shoot to kill—a memoir
netskyIam

When I was a little guy
 1
my father taught me how
 2
to shoot. He warned
 3
to "Shoot to kill.
 4
 
 
Don't lower aim.
 5
 
 
If a man's in mind to kill
 6
do not try to wing
 7
the guy. Hit the head
 8
or heart or major vessel
 9
or you'll die"
 10
 
 
yourself.
 11

26 Jul 08

Rated 9 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (0): 8, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

archival and reference for self, item was at first draft:

when I was a little guy my father taught me how to shoot
and warned me if it ever came, to shoot to kill;
don't lower aim.

if a man's in mind to kill, you must not merely wing the bird;
you must hit the head, or heart or major vessel.
or you will die yourself.
 — netskyIam

Mr Netskyiam. I'm thinking l5 could read something like 'a steady hand'. and do you need 'then to' in l4. or even l11, it is implied

When i was a little guy
my father taught me
how to shoot. He cautioned
a steady hand-

"If a man's in a mind to kill
do not try to wing
the guy. You hit the head
or heart or major vessel
or you will die"
 — duality

Thank you, duality!  I will refine and work on this item.
The point it aims for is, yes, some poetic ambiguity.
But my dad, a pacifist but a marksman like me,
he explained to the child that to merely "injure" an attacker
is liable to result in that attacker coming at you even harder.
You have to stop them with the first shot--there won't be a second chance.
In case of mortal danger, you have to shoot to kill, though in you heart, you might
wish you =could= be lenient.  An injured beast, whether animal or man, is infinitely dangerous.
 — netskyIam

I am picturing a a caring father who's teaching his son how to kill just as he's been taught before. Somehow I don't see that many father's who dish out this kind of advice. Maybe it's the new age teaching. But very very dark, although I do feel that it needs some tweaking. Perhaps the father's advise should be more heartless as in he should be trying to rationalize this need to kill by necessity and the whole....no way out scenario should be emphasized a little more. I get the sense that this is advice fathers would give their children in a war zone or a troubled land, coaxing them not to hesitate  but kill now and ask questions later. DARK!
 — unknown

jerry at heart and the kind of poetry that should be read in a session of congress. signed, arnold schwarzenegger
 — joey

Vomit.
 — unknown

Recent Best (expand)
    0.303s